


Winchester, Idaho

by ladygray99



Series: Vignettes [30]
Category: Numb3rs
Genre: Family Dynamics, Female Jewish Character, First Meetings, Homophobia, Hunting, Multi, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Water Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-14
Updated: 2010-02-14
Packaged: 2017-10-07 06:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 40,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladygray99/pseuds/ladygray99
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the 4th of July and after almost 20 years Colby is heading home to Winchester, Idaho. And he's bringing his husband and daughter with him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Part of Vignettes 'verse taking place after Dumped but you might also want to look over A Direct Threat as it gets mentioned. Long Author's notes will come at the end.  
> Warnings: On screen adult sex, off screen teenaged sex and making out, mild violence.  
> Beta: The very brave and amazing swingandswirl  
> Thanks: boymommytotwo served up the bunny and helped me outline the story in March, 2008 and really gets a lot of credit for this ever happening. autumnwriting stepped up as the official Vignettes 'verse Hebraic scholar and military adviser taking the time to fix my terminology and my Hebrew. swingandswirl did her own linguistic bit providing the French.

  
Emily Granger stood in front of three of her four grown children.

“Let me make this abundantly clear. I do not know how many 4th of July reunions I have left in me, probably not as many as I’d like. Now Colby has stayed away out of fear of offending your delicate sensibilities for too long and I am sick of it. He is coming this year. He is bringing his husband and their daughter and as long as they are guests staying under my roof you will be polite and respectful, am I very clear?”

“Yes ma’am,” Emily’s children mumbled in unison under her sharp gaze.

“Good.”

~

Colby stopped the rental car by the gate that had rusted open when he was still a kid. The driveway was a quarter mile long so the house was still out of sight. Colby leaned his head on the steering wheel.

“Colby?” Charlie touched his shoulder.

Colby took a deep breath. “Okay, look, you know how Don and you were always told not to hit each other?”

“Yes?”

“Well I never got that lecture. Dad encouraged us boys to lay into each other, toughen us up.”

“Fun,” was Esther’s sarcastic commentary from the back seat.

“Charlie, I haven’t talked to my brothers in years and we never really had the communication thing down to begin with. Someone’s going to say something in the next few days and someone’s going to take a swing and just... just fair warning okay?”

“Colby, Esther and me, we can just get a room in town, maybe head into the park...”

“No!” Colby snapped. “Absolutely not. You are my family, both of you, and we’re sticking together. Plus if I show up without you two Mom will kill me.”

Colby felt Esther squeeze his shoulder. “Don’t worry, Dad, we got your back.”

Colby turned the car back on and turned up the driveway. The little rental bumped over the ruts laid down by years of pickup trucks. As they came around a small bend the whitewashed house came into view. The porch and front room were a hundred and fifty years old, the rest was pieced together one room at a time as the family’s population and fortunes rose and fell.

Colby parked between the tidy front yard and the east paddock. Everyone piled out of the car. Esther grabbed his wrist.

“Dad, is that actually a cow?”

Colby leaned over to check. “Um... steer actually.”

“It’s a cow, it goes moo?”

The animal made a sound that sounded nothing like moo. Esther jumped.

“In a couple of months it’ll be Sunday roast.”

Esther squinted suspiciously at the steer as she pulled her bags from the back of the car.

Colby counted seven other vehicles in front of the house. Colby knew Esther was the youngest of his mother’s grandchildren. A few of the older ones had already given her great-grandchildren. And every 4th of July all of them gathered for a big family reunion, except for Colby. Colby knew the last time he had been home Charlie had done a long distance diagnosis of prodigy on his four year old nice and the last he’d heard about her Katie had finished her doctorate and was now looking for a university to settle down at.

Colby could hear people as the three of them neared the house. The front screen opened and Frank stepped out. It took Colby a moment to recognize his brother. He’d gotten old. Colby supposed he’d gotten old as well, but the last time he’d seen his older brother there was more hair and less weight.

“Colby.” Frank gave a slight nod as they climbed the stairs to the porch.

“Frank.” Colby gave a nod of his own. “This Charlie and Esther. Charlie, my brother Frank.”

“Nice to meet you.” Charlie replied pleasantly, avoiding the hand shake since his hands were pretty much full.

“Same.” Frank gave a quick nod. “Mom’s in the house.”

“Thanks.” Colby opened the screen door. Inside the house it was dark and cool. It looked the same as he remembered, maybe a little different here and there, more pictures, new lamps, but in essence it was the same house he grew up in.

“Mom,” Colby called out. Emily Granger came sprinting from the kitchen and threw her arms around Colby. “Hey, mom.”

“I’m so glad you made it.” Emily gave Colby a nearly rib breaking hug then moved to Charlie who gave her a warm hug in return. “It’s so good to see you, Charles.”

Charlie grin. “It’s good to see you too.” Colby knew Charlie found his mom’s insistence on calling him Charles rather amusing, much like Larry’s similar quirk.

Then Emily pulled Esther into a hug. “Oh, look how tall you’ve gotten,” she gushed once she’d pulled away.

Esther bounced on her toes a bit. “Another inch and I’m taller than Dad.”

Emily laughed as Charlie rolled his eyes. “I’m so glad you three could come.”

“Well this one’s about to go off to school,” Charlie pointed out, nudging Esther, “so I figured a family trip might not be a bad thing.”

“They do grow, don’t they?”

“Oh!” Charlie suddenly dove into one of his bags. “Before I forget,” Charlie pulled out two bottles of wine. “Compliments of my father. From that vineyard you liked the last time you were down. He said the chardonnay is good to go but the cabernet could probably use another year in the bottle.”

Colby couldn’t help grinning a little to himself. He realized that it was distinctly possible that those were the first bottles of wine ever to cross into the Granger household. Certainly the first chardonnay, at any rate.

Emily took the bottles. “Thank you, Charles, be sure to say thank you to Alan for me.”

“Absolutely.”

“Now, do you boys mind bunking down in Colby’s old room?” Emily asked.

“Nope.” Charlie answered quickly. Colby caught a glint in Charlie’s eye that usually meant he was planning something naughty and/or evil. Colby looked around. Various people Colby didn’t know but knew he probably should were wandering into the living room and they were all looking at him, Charlie and Esther. It was making Colby’s back itch. If Charlie and Esther were aware of the scrutiny they were hiding it well.

Emily turned to Esther. “Do you mind bunking down with Katie in Mary Jo’s old room?”

Esther’s smile stiffened a little. “No, no problem.” She replied quickly.

Colby added that to the list of things that could go horribly wrong over the next few days. For several years now, whenever Charlie had mentioned Katie or some paper she’d published or was working on, Esther would go into a ‘Daddy doesn’t love me ‘cause I’m not good at math’ sulk. It was completely ridiculous and even Esther knew it but it was fuelled by teenaged insecurities and inter-genius competition. Colby wasn’t sure how well it was going to go having Esther in the same room as her perceived rival for her father’s affection. He’d just have to remind Charlie to heap on the affection and hope for the best. Then again, Charlie had taken it a little personally when Katie had chosen MIT over CalSci so maybe that would help balance things out.

“Now, have you three eaten?” Emily asked.

“I could eat.” Esther blurted out quickly before Colby could respond.

Emily laughed. “You’re fifteen. Of course you can eat. How about you boys?”

Charlie shook his head.

Colby picked up his bags again. “We’re fine, Mom, we’ll go unpack.”

The hall down to the bedrooms was lined with pictures. Generations of Grangers represented over the course of their lives from infancy to old age.

Charlie pulled up short and pointed to a picture of a man in a World War II era Army uniform. “Colby, who’s this?” Charlie asked tapping the frame.

“That’s my grandfather Bartholomew. Grandpa Bart.”

Charlie peered at the picture. “You look just like him.”

“You think?” Colby looked close.

“First time I saw you, yeah. You looked just like that. Seriously, it’s a little creepy.”

Colby grinned. “Well there are more pictures of him around so you can get a sneak preview on how I’m going to look when I’m old and grey.”

“I already know how you’re going to look, you’re going to look great.” Colby blushed, just a little. Even after all these years together, once in a while Charlie could still come out with something that just seemed to get right inside him. “Come on, I want to see the walls where you hung your Farrah Fawcett poster.”

Colby opened a door that once held a sign that read ‘Colby’s and Robbie’s Room. Keep Out!’ It had been more or less turned into a guest room. Traditionally multiple generations had lived under the roof and the idea of a guest room was silly but Colby’s generation had broken with tradition by moving out even if Colby was the only one who had gotten out of town.

Charlie looked around. “I’m a little disappointed. I was kind of hoping for cheerleading posters.”

“Mom threw those out.”

Charlie bounced on the bed a little. “Yeah, moms do that. I thought Don was going to cry when Mom found and tossed his Playboys.” Colby winced in a little sympathy. “I’m sure the hour long feminist lecture that went with it didn’t help.”

“Probably not.” Colby opened his closet and reached up into it and into the little void between the ceiling and the attic. His fingers brushed paper. “Got ‘em!” Colby crowed and pulled out a half dozen very old Playboys.

Charlie grinned. “Colby, you naughty, naughty boy.” Colby sat down next to Charlie. “Okay.” Charlie asked. “Who was your favorite?”

Colby closed his eyes, trying to remember. “September. Miss September ‘89.”

Charlie quickly found the September issue and carefully opened the yellowed pages. He gave a bark of laughter. “I knew it. It has nothing to do with me, you just have a chalkboard fetish.”

“I do not!” Colby objected.

Charlie turned the magazine around in order to jar Colby’s memories of Miss September. Colby felt his cheeks burn. Prior to baring all, Miss September was in a little school girl uniform leaning against a chalk board in a class room.

“Not that I’ve ever objected to your fascination with me up against a chalkboard, but you should feel free to admit these kinds of things.” Colby pulled his teenaged porn from Charlie’s hands and quickly re-hid it in the closet. “And I will try to avoid any jokes about you hiding hetero porn in the closet.” Charlie followed up with a smirk.

“It was the only place I thought Mom wouldn’t find it.”

“And obviously she didn’t.” Charlie bounced on the bed a few more times. “Want to make out?” He suddenly offered with an evil grin.

“We should probably go find out who else is here and keep Esther from eating Mom out of house and home.”

Charlie pouted. Colby kissed that pout. “Maybe we can sneak off after dinner.”

Charlie grinned then gave Colby a deep kiss. “I love you. Now, let’s find Esther and meet the rest of your family.”

They found Esther in the kitchen nearly at the bottom of a large bowl of potato salad. She’d hit that age where her body was demanding she eat everything in sight while her brain was starting to fret about things like weight and dress sizes.

“Did you find your room okay?” Emily asked as they entered the kitchen.

“It was just where I left it.”

“Well, why don’t you find the back yard next and say hello to everyone. Your brothers are getting the barbeque set up.”

Esther quickly finished off her potato salad and all three of them headed to the back yard. Colby looked around at the milling people. There were at least fifteen adults and probably a half dozen kids. Colby had to remind himself that his mother had had Frank at twenty-one and all his siblings had had their own kids by twenty-five and some of those kids had already had kids. His brothers and sister were probably grandparents already whereas Colby only had one fifteen year old and he’d been comfortably past thirty when Esther had shown up.

A large man pushed through the crowd of people who were standing around, sipping beer or helping to set up the large grill that would feed the masses in a couple of hours. It took Colby a second to recognize his baby brother. Like Frank, Robert had lost hair and gained weight. Colby thanked god for whatever fluke of genetics had let him inherit his grandfather’s looks. He might be the only almost brunet in a family of honey blonds but at least his hair had stayed in.

Robert pulled Colby into a quick back slapping hug. “You’re looking good.” Robert said by way of greeting.

“So are you.”

“Bullshit.”

Colby laughed. “Robert, this is Charlie and Esther. Charlie, Esther, this is my baby brother Robert.”

“Hi.” There were quick handshakes and Robert turned back to Colby. “So you finally made it home?”

“Well, Mom kinda insisted.”

“Well, good.” Robert gave a nod to Charlie and Esther and headed back to the grill which was receiving a good scrubbing.

“Believe it or not Robert’s the conversationalist of the family. The funny one too.”

Charlie patted Colby on the shoulder. “How about if we just split up and mingle.”

“I’m not splitting up. I’m sticking with dad,” Esther declared. “This many blondes in one place makes me nervous.”

Colby looked to Charlie. “I tutored Princeton frat boys. I think I’ll survive.”

Colby took a deep breath. “Well, I should probably go help with the grill.”

“I’ll go track us down a few beers.”

Colby just nodded and headed towards the grill. Before he could get far Frank was in his line of sight obviously wanting some attention. There was a young man standing next to him with the classic honey blonde Granger looks. And while he may have been in civilian clothes Colby could make out the line of dog tags under the kids t-shirt.

“Colby.”

“Frank.”

“This is my youngest, Andrew. He just got back from Afghanistan.” There was a sick pride in Frank’s voice.

_‘Ah.’_ Colby thought. Frank had joined the Army before Colby, having gotten the same speeches about duty and honor, but he had never seen combat. He spent most of his career in Europe behind a desk. Colby knew that Frank must be pleased as anything that it was one of his offspring that had joined up and had seen action. Afghanistan would also explain the thousand yard stare in the kid’s eyes.

Colby held out his hand. “Nice to meet you Andrew, I spent some time in Afghanistan myself way back in ‘02. Sorry if we left it a bit of a mess for you.”

Andrew shook Colby’s hand. “Nothing we can’t handle, sir.”

“Just Colby’s fine. I haven’t been a sir in a long time.”

“Yes, sir.”

Colby couldn’t help wondering if he’d been that bad. Probably. “How long have you been back?”

“Arrived in town this morning, sir. Had an eighteen month deployment.”

“Well I’m sure your father’s very proud of you.” Frank was just brimming with pride over his warrior son. Colby gave the kid a pat on the arm. “Welcome home. Take it easy.” Colby gave Frank a quick nod and headed towards the grill before he did something stupid like punch his older brother.

By the time he got to the grill Charlie was already waiting for him with a beer; Budweiser, in a can, there was none of this fancy microbrew stuff in the Granger household. Charlie was sipping his with a funny look on his face.

“What?” Colby asked.

“Just having a flashback to my first frat party. Cut me off if I try to smash the can on my forehead.”

“Promise.”

~

Esther sipped at an orange soda while she watched her dad and a bunch of other big guys set up a huge grill. It looked big enough to cook half of that cow out front. She’d leaned her back against a nearby tree mainly so no one could sneak up on her. She hadn’t been lying. Out of the twenty plus adults and kids she was feeling very conspicuous as the only real brunet. Normally she was okay in crowds, she’d mastered academic and law enforcement small talk at a pretty early age but she had no idea what she was supposed to talk to these people about. ‘So, know any good potato recipes?’ was about all she’d been able to come up with.

A kid of about ten approached. Esther braced herself.

“Hi,” the kid said.

“Hi.”

“Who are you?”

“I’m Esther. Who are you?”

“I’m Brian.”

“Hi, Brian.”

Brian tiled his head and peered at Esther. Esther mimicked the gesture.

“Are we related?” Brian asked.

“Possibly.”

“We don’t look alike.”

Esther fought the urge to really screw with the kid. “Well, genetics are a funny thing.” Brian squinted at her a bit. Esther sighed. “My father is Colby Granger. I’m told I look a bit like my mother.”

“Oh.” That explanation seemed to satisfy and Brian wandered off.

Esther thumped the back of her head softly against the tree. It was going to be a long week.

~

Colby tipped out a big bag of charcoal into the family grill. The charcoal and the grill was made by the Lewis family up the road and it would be sacrilege to use anything else for a barbeque in Winchester. His brothers also tipped out bags. Colby had literally seen half a cow grilled on the huge old thing. Frank, as the oldest Granger male, would man the grill, cooking up enough food to overfeed twenty. Charlie and Esther had apparently retreated into the kitchen to help with the food prep.

Colby rolled up the charcoal bag and went to find another beer. He had a feeling he’d be drinking a lot tonight. He only hoped Charlie would forgive him for making an idiot of himself at some point.

By the time he got back Frank had the thing lit up and was fussing with the coals, trying to get the fire evenly spread and the coals stacked. Colby wrinkled his nose. He forgot Frank always used a bit of siphoned gas to light the thing up. California had been rationing gas for over a decade and even the used clunker cars were hybrids. It had been a while since he’d smelled gas burning.

Colby was going to offer Frank a beer when he noticed Andrew standing down wind of the grill. The kid was frozen and staring wide eyed at nothing.

_‘Shit.’_

“Move it soldier.” Colby quietly barked into Andrew’s ear before grabbing the kid’s arm, dragging him away from the crowd and away from the smell of burning gas.

Andrew was back to himself by the time they got around the side of the house.

“Deep, clear breaths,” Colby advised. “Keep your eyes open.”

“I’m fine sir, thank you.” Andrew gasped out quickly even as he leaned against the weathered, white clapboard.

“Yeah right. Car bombs?”

Andrew nodded. “Yes, sir.”

“The more things change.” Colby mumbled to himself.

Colby saw Andrew suddenly snap to attention just as a voice bellowed behind him.

“What the fuck is going on here?!” Frank shouted.

“Everything is fine, sir.” Andrew answered. Colby rolled his eyes. He was positive his brother was getting off on hearing his own son call him sir.

“What the hell have you done?!” Frank was still shouting obviously ignoring his son.

“Andrew, go help your grandmother in the kitchen, now. “ Colby quickly ordered as he turned to face his brother. Frank was two inches taller and had several pounds on him but Colby still had his field status. “What the hell do you think you’re doing to my boy you little...”

Colby threw the first punch to prevent whatever word was about to come out of his brother’s mouth. Frank’s head snapped around. Colby then grabbed his brother by his shirt and slammed him against the side of the house.

“Car bombs you fucking idiot.” Colby snarled. “Ever smelled a car bomb? No, you haven’t. The first thing you smell, once you get past the ringing in your ears, is the gas, the burning gas. Then the rubber, then the smell of whatever poor bastard that got caught in it cooking.”

Frank shoved back and Colby let him.

“Your kid’s, what, a week out of combat? Two? You’re parading him around, your perfect little toy solider. You’re fucking lucky he only froze up instead of having a complete freak out.”

“Don’t you tell me how to raise my son.” Frank snarled.

“Don’t you try to pretend you have any idea what it’s like to be in a war zone.”

“What is going on out here?!”

Colby froze and his back curled up at the sound of his mother’s voice.

“Mom, he...”

“I do not want to hear it.” Emily said tersely cutting Frank off. “I asked you to do one thing, one simple thing and that was to behave yourself around your brother.”

“But he...”

“No. I do not care. Frank, go tend to your fire. Colby, there is a bag of onions in the kitchen with your name on it.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” Colby and Frank mumbled in unison.

Colby followed his mother into the house. Andrew was sitting quietly at the kitchen table watching as Esther carefully chopped up tomatoes. Colby was pointed towards a large bag of onions.

“Andrew, dear. Would you like some lemonade?” Emily asked.

Andrew looked up after a moment. “Yes, please.”

Emily patted him on the shoulder before pouring a tall glass out of a pitcher. “I was thinking, your father’s place is pretty much packed to the rafters, maybe you could stay here in his old room.”

Andrew stared at his lemonade. “I wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience.”

“Nonsense,” was Emily’s sharp reply. “Besides, I could use a young strong back around here to help out for a few days. Now drink your lemonade.”

Colby watched as Andrew drank his lemonade and actually smiled a bit.

~

Robert watched as Colby’s husband tapped away at an unusual looking laptop. That was still a weird thought for him. Colby’s husband. He and Colby had shared a room growing up. Colby had even shared his Playboys. Colby had dated some of the best-looking girls in school. Then Colby left town and never really came back. He visited when he was in college, and a few times when he was in the Army, and a couple of times after he joined the FBI, but after a while he stopped coming home all together. Stopped calling, stopped writing.

After she vanished for Thanksgiving one year their mother broke the news that Colby was with a very nice young man, a doctor even, and they even had a little girl. Frank had said some things at the time that made their mom chuck him out of the house until he learned to mind his mouth. Mary Jo already sort of knew the ‘very nice young man’ since he was the one who set up all kinds of extra schooling for Katie. Robert had just been quiet that day, not sure what to think.

The party was still in full swing. Frank and Colby were drunk along with almost every other adult, and the sun had just finished dropping away. Robert had seen the small man with salt and pepper curls slip away and not come back. Robert found him sitting on the edge of the porch, his legs dangling over the edge, tapping away on the strange looking laptop. Robert approached with a good bottled beer he’d snuck in as a peace offering.

“Hey,” Robert said by way of greeting.

Colby’s husband, Charlie wasn’t it, looked up from his computer. “Hey.”

Robert held out the beer. “Beer?”

“Thanks.” Charlie took the beer but before Robert could hand him the bottle opener Charlie popped off the cap on the edge of his laptop.

“Wow, never seen a computer you can do that on.”

Charlie grinned and patted the side of his computer. “Custom made case. I lost four in the line of duty so we got the Swatch people to do a custom job. It was my brother’s suggestion that I should be able to open a beer with it.”

“What happened to the other ones?” Robert was unsure how you could lose a computer in the line of duty being a doctor.

“Two caught bullets for me, one got blown up and one ended up at the bottom of the Port of Los Angeles.”

“What kind of doctor are you?”

Charlie laughed. “Doctor of Applied Mathematics. I consult for the FBI a lot. That’s how I met your brother and lost four computers. We tested this one by chucking it off the sixth floor of the Federal Building then taking it down to the range and emptying a couple of clips at it.”

“Sounds like fun.”

Charlie grinned and took a sip of his beer. “Actually it was incredibly satisfying.”

Robert peeked at what looked like lines of gibberish on the screen. “What’s that? Some kind of game?”

“I’m hacking into the Pentagon.”

Robert was sure he couldn’t have heard that right. “You’re what?”

“Hacking into the Pentagon. I know I should be socializing but I promised I’d have this done by tonight.”

“Promised who?” Robert was suddenly afraid that he was going to have to make some sort of citizen’s arrest of his brother-in-law.

“The Pentagon.”

“Hunh?”

“They just paid a small fortune of the taxpayers’ money for a new security system. They could have paid me half the amount and gotten a better one but instead they paid someone else to build it and now they’re paying me even more to try to break into it which I should be able to do in just a minute.” Charlie hit a couple of keys and took a sip of his beer. The computer beeped and a login page came up. Charlie typed in a login and password which the page seemed to accept. “And we’re in. Wanna nuke China?”

Robert choked on his beer. “Seriously?!”

Charlie laughed again. “Nah, it’s just a dummy test server. It’s not really connected to anything. But there are a bunch of military nerds who are going to have a very long night explaining to top brass how I got into their fancy new expensive system.”

“How did you get in?”

“I’m very smart, that’s how,” was Charlie’s blunt reply. “But there are a handful of people out there who are as smart or smarter than I am and they don’t necessarily work for the United States Government. Actually...” Charlie pulled out his phone and pressed a few buttons. “Could you take a picture for me?”

“Sure.” Robert took the phone, which was on a camera setting. Charlie flipped around the laptop so the screen was visible, held up his beer and grinned. Robert snapped the picture and handed the phone back.

Charlie poked at his phone. “Eat. That. Interlocking random irregular primes my ass,” he mumbled to himself.

“Okay, if you’re so smart, here’s a question for you.” Charlie looked up at him. “If you’re such a genius what the hell are you doing with my brother?”

Charlie laughed. “Geniuses are not easy people to live with. Your brother is probably one of the most patient men in the known universe. He’s kind, he’s forgiving, he’s easy on the eyes and at the end of the day he’s not exactly the village idiot.”

Robert thought about this for a few moments. “Well, whatever works for you I guess.”

“Oh, believe me, Colby works just about better than anyone I’ve met. I would have been an idiot not to take my chance and an even bigger idiot to ever let him go.”

~

Esther looked across the small bedroom at her cousin Katie. It was a name she’d heard her whole life. Katie who was always publishing ‘innovative’. ‘groundbreaking’, ‘game changing’ shit that Esther didn’t understand because despite her father’s best efforts and genetics she’d only passed calculus by the skin of her teeth.

Esther had never actually met Katie. She’d always had this image of some backwoods nerd with thick glasses, stringy hair, and no teeth. Katie actually looked like she could have a second career as a lingerie model with long blond curls and perfect curves. Esther decided she was in hell.

Esther realized she was being spoken to. “What? Sorry, zoned out there.”

Katie laughed a high sweet laugh. “Don’t worry; I do that all the time. I was just wondering if you minded if I left the light on for a bit.”

“No. I was going to work on some translations anyways.” Esther quickly grabbed a notepad and a couple of books out of her bag just for proof.

“Oh good, I always do my best work at night myself. Something about it being dark just kind of gets everything else in focus.”

“I’m just an insomniac like my dad.”

Katie picked up a notebook herself and climbed into bed. “That must have been handy, having someone to stay awake with.” Esther just shrugged. “My family never really got it. I used to hide out here all the time growing up. I mean I love my family but Grandma Emily is the only one who got as far as trig.”

“I only got as far as calculus myself.” Esther stated hoping Katie would stop trying to make conversation and just let her die in peace.

“Yeah, but you speak like 50 languages. I flat out flunked French.”

“I’m not up to fifty.”

“That’s not what your dad said, he was totally bragging on you.”

“Well he had a few and really I’m not native fluent in most, just textbook, there’s only so much immersion you can do in LA. I mean my first paper was on tracking migrant worker routes by the distribution of regionally specific Spanish vernacular. Not exactly ground breaking.”

Esther found herself hit with a pillow. “Did I mention I flunked French?”

Esther tossed the pillow back. “J’espere que tu te rends compte qui si on doit avoir un bataille de polochons je serai totalement plongee dans l’embarras?”

“What did you just say?”

Esther grinned. “That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

~

Charlie sat on the bed while Colby collapsed onto it. Charlie had drunken a couple of beers but hadn’t wanted to look like a lush in front of his in-laws. Colby on the other hand had gotten into some sort of weird passive aggressive drinking match with his older brother.

“I love you,” Colby mumbled.

Charlie went to pull off Colby’s shoes. “I love you too.”

“I hate Frank,” Colby drunkenly declared.

“No you don’t, he’s your brother.”

“He’s an idiot.”

Charlie started pulling at Colby’s jeans. Putting Colby to bed drunk wasn’t the easiest thing. “He’s not an idiot, he’s just under educated. Help me get off your pants.”

Colby started trying to kick off his jeans but proved to be more of a hindrance to the process than anything else. “Want to mess around?” Colby tried to offer in his bedroom voice.

“Not when there’s a chance you could pass out and crush me. That would be a very embarrassing way to go for both of us.”

“But I’m horny,” Colby suddenly whined.

Charlie finished yanking off Colby’s jeans. “If I know you, and I do, in about a minute you’re going to be unconscious.”

“Will not.”

“Oh yeah, close your eyes and take a deep breath.”

Colby closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Thirty seconds later he was snoring.


	2. Chapter 2

Esther pushed open the screen door in the pre-dawn grey light. Under the slight squeak of the door was the sound of metal scraping against metal. It sounded suspiciously like a round being chambered. Esther quickly darted back inside.

“Who’s there?” A male voice asked from the porch.

“Esther? Esther Eppes?” Esther whispered loudly. When she didn’t get a response she nudged the screen open again and carefully peaked around the corner. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust. When they did she could make out Andrew Granger sitting on the porch swing, a gun clasped in his hands.

Esther put up her hands and carefully stepped out. “Hey, just me. Unarmed innocent bystander.”

Andrew looked at his weapon in surprise and carefully lowered it. “Sorry,” He mumbled.

“No problem.” Esther approached carefully and sat down next to Andrew, close but not too close, keeping her eyes on the weapon the whole time. “It’s Andrew right?”

“Yes, well, Andy. Only my father and grandmother call me Andrew.”

“Right, Andy. So, not sleeping?”

“I think… I think my brain is still in another time zone.” Andy answered.

_ ‘No shit.’_ Esther thought. “I’m an insomniac myself. Especially in a new place.”

Andy just nodded and continued to stare at the slowly brightening horizon.

“Soooooo. Decided to take a little walk with your service weapon?” Andy looked at the gun in his hand again. The look was distinctly confused.

“I just...” He stumbled.

“May I?” Esther held out her hand. Andy looked between her and the weapon several times then slowly handed it over. Esther took it slowly and gently.

_‘God bless Glocks,’_ she thought, looking it over. One of the first things she’d been shown how to do with a gun was how to secure one and Glock had kept the same basic, simple design since before she was born. Esther ejected the clip and removed the chambered round. Then she put the pieces to the side covering them with a bit of her night shirt.

“There. We’re in Idaho and I don’t think the potatoes are about to rise up and revolt.”

Andy gave an almost frightened little chuckle. “We grow more than potatoes you know?”

“Yes, I noticed the cow out front that did not make a sound that sounded anything like moo. Sesame Street lied.” Andy chuckled again. “I’m afraid someone’s going to try to tell me that pigs don’t go oink.”

This time Esther got a small smile. “They don’t.”

Esther put on the most exaggerated look of disappointment she could manage. “The lies they tell you growing up in the city. Do chickens at least cluck?”

“Sort of, it’s more of a boack sound.”

Esther laughed and got a larger if slightly fragile smile from Andy which quickly faded.

“What’s wrong?”

“You’re going to ask.” Andy whispered.

“Ask what?”

“About Afghanistan. Everyone asks.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.” Esther said truthfully. If anything she had planed to take the conversation as far away from that as possible.

“Really?”

“My dad was there. I don’t ask him either. If he ever wants to tell me one day I’ll listen but I don’t ask.”

Andy let out a long breath his whole body collapsing in on itself. “Your dad’s my Uncle Colby, right?”

“Yeah.”

“But also, um... Mr. Eppes.”

“Yeah, that’s my other dad.”

Andy nodded and seemed to think about it for a long time. “Is that ever weird?”

Esther shrugged. “Define weird, define normal. In LA having two parents that are actually happily married is weird so...”

“My folks are divorced. My mom ran off with this Parks Service guy when I was four. They live in Alaska now.”

“That sucks. My mom left me in a box on my dad’s porch when I was a week old.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. I met my mom once. She’s a raging bitch. I’m a dirty secret and the best thing she ever did for me was to leave me with my dads.”

Andy nodded and fell silent. Esther kicked herself a bit. Talking about her mother was always a conversation killer. One of these days she was going to try to work out how to make that factoid about her life into funny anecdote.

“Soooo... Penny for your thoughts?”

Andy frowned, his face scrunching up in thought. “You’re Jewish?” Andy blurted out. “I mean I heard someone say...”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m Jewish.” Esther answered carefully.

“There was a guy in my unit who was Jewish, Isaac.”

“Well, we do get around.”

“There was this thing he'd always say to himself while we were on patrol. He said it was for luck. A prayer or something, I’ve been trying to remember it but I never really listened all that close, and just since I left, it’s like I’ve got a song in my head but I can’t remember any of the words.”

“What do you remember?” Esther asked. If it was one of the more common prayers she might be able to get it just from the rhythm of the words.

Andy squeezed his eyes shut. “Het glad, tey it quad... something. I just can't remember. It’s driving me nuts.”

Esther put her face in her hands. She was pretty sure she knew what Andy was looking for. They were words she’d heard nearly every Saturday since she was a small child but she had never heard them butchered to that extent. “Yitgadal v'yitkadash shema raba.?”

Andy’s head shot up. “Yes! Yes that was it. For luck?”

“Well...” Esther wasn’t even sure where to begin. The Kaddish had a long history culturally, spiritually, and linguistically. She couldn’t recall any mention of luck but Andy looked half way happy. “Yeah, sure, luck. I’ll... uh... I’ll write it down for you later.”

“Thanks, Isaac always swore he… well… I mean the other guys laughed but the one day he stopped...” Andy’s smile faded.

“So,” Esther clapped her hands together. “It’s Saturday morning. I’m going to guess this one-Starbucks town doesn’t have a synagogue.”

“I don’t even think we have a Starbucks.”

Esther could see the first hint of color in the sky. “Let’s take a walk.”

“What?”

“A walk. Let’s take a walk.”

“Where?”

Esther pointed to the tree-topped hill in front of them. “Let’s go up there. Watch the sun rise. I’ll do a little reading, you can contemplate non-hostile nature and protect me from cows that don’t say moo.”

Andy laughed. “Sure, um...”

Esther realized that Andy was looking at her bare legs. “I’ll go throw something on, and,” Esther picked up the gun from the bench. “How about if I just keep this for you for a bit?” Before Andy could answer Esther grabbed it and half ran into the house.

Once she got back to her room she stashed the gun, the clip, and the bullets in three different bags, while trying her best not to wake Katie. She fished out some clothes mainly by feel and since it was Saturday grabbed her smallish well read study copy of the Tamuld on the way out

Andy was still waiting for her on the porch.

“Well, come on, soldier, let’s go climb a mountain.”

Andy smiled and followed as Esther headed in the general direction of the hill. The long grass was still a little damp as she hopped oven a split wood fence. There was a good deal more color in the sky now. The sun would probably be nearly up by the time they reached the top. Around them she could hear early morning birds run through the grass and occasionally take flight.

Andy made his way behind her and a little to the side. Esther had a funny feeling they were in some sort of two man patrol formation. Once at the top of the hill Esther took a deep breath and marveled. The sun was just creeping into a lightly wooded green valley with a small river that was painted pink by the new day’s light.

“Well, I think that was worth a little hike.”

Andy stood beside her. “In winter you can ice skate on parts of that river. There are bends where the water goes deep and still and you can swim in the summer and skate in the winter.”

“That sounds nice.”

Esther poked around a bit of grass with her foot before sitting down leaning against a solitary tree. “We should have brought a blanket or something.” Andy was looking down at her. “Sit down. Enjoy the view. Breath the fresh air and just think about nothing.”

Andy sat but was looking at her instead. “What’s that?” Andy asked nodding to the thick book Esther was holding.

“It’s called the Talmud.”

“Any good?”

Esther chuckled a little. “It’s a fifteen hundred year old text covering Jewish oral law and tradition and rabbinic thought at the time. It’s incredibly dense in a lot of places and there are people who study it every day and spend their whole lives learning and adhering to every inch of it.”

“Oh, so real page turner?”

Esther couldn’t help the smile that crept across her face. “It has its moments. I mainly just read it on Saturdays and meditate a bit on... faith, tradition, history, language. I’m not actually that conservative, despite what my family thinks.”

“Read me some.” Andy asked quietly.

“Really?”

“Yeah, the bits you like.”

Esther looked down at the thick book in her hands then out to the view. “Okay.” Esther opened the book easily finding one of sections she returned to regularly. She skimmed her eyes over it making sure she could translate as she read. She looked up at Andy. His eyes seemed a little unfocused but he had a small smile on his face. Esther took a breath and began to read.

~

Colby stepped into the kitchen and drew in a deep breath, savoring the sweet smell of bacon cooking.

“Good morning, dear,” his mother greeted brightly from the stove.

Colby winced a little, his hangover still in full force. “Morning. Hey have you seen Esther?”

Emily turned briefly from the stove. “No. I thought she was still in bed.”

“No. She’s not in bed and Katie doesn’t remember her getting up.”

“I’m sorry dear. I’m sure she’s around.”

“Yeah, I’m just afraid she got up early and decided to take a walk and has twisted her ankle down the road or something.”

Emily patted her son on the cheek. “I’m sure she’s fine. If she’s not out in the yard then get Andrew to help you look.”

Colby gave an absent nod and grabbed a slice of bacon before heading back down to the maze of bedrooms. He knocked on the door to Frank’s old room then carefully pushed the door open. The bed was empty and neatly made and seeing as how it was made in his mother’s style and not a tight military style he was willing to bet the bed had not been slept in.

Now Colby was beginning to worry. He remembered what his head had been like at the end of his first tour and it hadn’t been entirely pretty.

Colby headed through the house and out the front door with the intent of searching the immediate farm buildings. He barely made it off the front porch when he noticed two people making their way down the east hill the sun behind them.

Colby waited and watched counting the time by the thumping of his head. When Andrew and Esther got to the fence she easily vaulted herself over it. Esther spent so much time with her nose in a book that Colby often forgot that she now had nine years of Krav Maga care of Auntie Megan. A couple more years and a little extra training and she’d probably be able to take on the Quantico obstacle course. Not that Colby wanted to see her within spitting distance of Quantico.

The two of them came up the walk, Esther in the lead and Andrew following looking a little like a puppy. Dread sunk into Colby’s stomach and joined the hangover.

“Morning Dad.” Esther sounded far too perky.

“Good morning, sir.”

Colby didn’t correct Andrew on the sir bit. “Good morning you two. Out for a walk?”

“Yeah, it’s nice out.”

Colby turned to Andrew. “Andrew, I believe your grandmother could use some help with breakfast.”

“Yes, sir.” Andrew answered quickly and disappeared into the house. Esther went to follow.

“Just a second young lady. We need to talk.”

Esther rolled her eyes. “What did I do now?”

Colby took a big breath, then another and tried to think through the hangover. “Sweetie, I know you’re growing up and you’re starting to have certain kinds of feelings...”

Esther’s eyes went wide. “Oh God, Dad, no, please stop.”

“And Andrew’s a very attractive young man...” Colby continued.

“Dad please, I will actually die of embarrassment if you keep talking.”

“...But he is older than you...”

Esther slapped her hands over her ears. “We were talking okay, I have insomnia, he’s still on Kabul time or something. He was on the porch getting a little cozy with his gun and I just thought he’d like to talk. That’s it. Talk.”

Colby’s train of thought skittered to a halt. He pulled Esther’s hands away from her ears. “What do you mean getting cozy with his gun?”

“He was sitting on the porch with his gun waiting for the potatoes to stage a revolt or something. He just looked a little out of it and I thought he just might want someone to chat with. It’s not like I was sleeping.”

“What were you talking about?”

“Just stuff... I don’t know. The fact that cows don’t say moo and apparently pigs don’t say oink either. Just nothing.”

Colby rubbed his face a few times. He was going to have to talk to Andrew. The kid obviously hadn't fully transitioned out yet. “Do you know what he did with his weapon?”

“I’ve got it.”

“What?”

Esther gave a little shrug. “He didn’t look like he should have it so I said I’d hold it for him.”

“Where?”

“It’s in my bag.”

“You just left a weapon in your bag?”

Esther gave another epic eye roll. “I’m not an idiot, Dad. The gun’s in one bag, the clip’s in another, and I took out the bullets and stashed them in a third.”

“Okay, good. Look it, be careful around him, okay?” Esther pulled a face. “I’m serious. He’s not completely okay. He obviously hasn’t transitioned out yet and if he doesn’t things could get very hard for him. He might be okay in a few days, he might not.”

“Dad, I could totally break his arm if I need to and he’s fine. Well, okay he’s a little out of it still but it’ll be fine.”

Before Colby could say anything else Esther darted past him and into the house.

Colby followed but Esther had already vanished towards the bedrooms. Andrew was setting out dishes for breakfast.

“Good morning, Andrew.”

“Good morning, sir.” Andrew replied while laying out silverware with military precision.

“I hear you and Esther had a nice little chat this morning.”

“Yes sir.”

“Talk about anything interesting?”

Andrew stopped and stared into space. “The almost universal human need to believe in a higher power so as to have something greater than ourselves to blame our own faults and random miseries on and yet if we blame God for our pains then we must also give him credit for our joys, absolving us from guilt but also robbing us of personal victories.”

“Right.” Colby made a bet with himself that that was the longest sentence Andrew had ever uttered and probably the most complicated thought he’d ever had. “By any chance did cows come up in all this?”

Andrew frowned a little. “Yes. Cow’s don’t say moo and I think that is a great disappointment to Miss Eppes.”

Colby rubbed his temples. “Okay, Andrew.”

“Yes, sir.”

“You can call me Colby. I’m your uncle. Okay. I need you to know that I know where you are right now.”

“Sir?”

“I’ve been in exactly the situation you are in. Eighteen months of just trying to keep yourself and your buddies alive and then all of a sudden you’re back in Idaho and everyone’s going around like nothing has changed and no one can begin to understand what you’ve been doing. But I do. I know exactly what you’ve been doing. A couple of weeks debriefing isn't exactly the same as suddenly walking down Main Street and smiling at your friends so if you need to talk to anyone, if you need to still work anything out, if you just need someone to scream at and bitch to about the brass and the food and whatever I’m here. Okay?”

Andrew nodded a little. “Yes, sir.”

Before Colby could go much farther his mother came out of the kitchen with a large bowl of scrambled eggs. “Colby, dear, go round up everyone for breakfast.”

“Yes Mom.”

~

Charlie watched Colby drive a wedge into a long piece of wood. Apparently the other purpose of the annual Granger 4th of July reunion, aside from just getting the family together, was to get all the little repairs and projects that needed to be done on the farm done at once.

According to Colby it wasn’t much of a farm anymore. His grandfather had been a reasonably successful rancher but his father had been a lousy farmer and they mainly just kept a couple of cows and sheep and a garden to feed the family. They still had a good amount of land. There was the valley the house was in and the one over. Colby told him there had been a third valley but it was sold off when he was a kid.

Colby and Robert lifted the split wood into place as part of a new fence. Frank had been sent off to do something on the other side of the property.

Mary Jo came up beside Charlie. “It’s good to see Colby finally home,” she said without much preamble.

“I’m enjoying seeing him in his natural environment.” And Charlie was. Colby was sweating through his plain white t-shirt and it was sticking to his still reasonably well defined body.

“I’m sorry I didn’t get to say hello last night. After all these years it’s nice to meet face to face.” Mary Jo held out her hand for a handshake.

“Same. And it’s good to see Katie is doing well. Her last paper was quite interesting.”

“I’ll take your word for it. I haven’t understood a thing she’s done since she was seven.”

“Well, she’s quite brilliant.”

Mary Jo shook her head. “I remember the first time I heard you say that. I was up to my elbows in turkey gravy and there was some guy on the other end of the phone talking about tutors and accelerated programs and all I could think was that if Colby was playing some sort of practical joke on me I was going to kick his ass ‘cause the gravy was about to burn.”

“No joke. I had her up to single variable algebra in twenty minutes.”

“Yeah, I know. The next day Colby drove a couple of hours out of town just to find her graphing paper and protractors and all kinds of other stuff.” Mary Jo got quite for a moment. “I think that was the last year I saw him.”

“You know I never asked him to stay away. I know family’s important.”

“I know. I know why he stayed away. This is a small town and getting smaller. It still thinks like a small town. Acts like a small town. Plus after our dad died Frank sort of tried to take over as head of the family and as much as I love my brother he’s a stubborn idiot.”

“Colby said something pretty similar last night.”

“Tell me Dr. Eppes...”

“Charlie, please.”

“Charlie. Were you and Colby together that last time he came home?”

Charlie reached back into this memory trying to recall exactly where he and Colby were in the evolution of their relationship at that time. “Um... sort of. Nothing official yet if I recall. Why do you ask?”

“I just remember Colby being distracted and Frank teasing him that he was mooning over some girl back in California.”

Charlie laughed. “I doubt he was mooning for me. We were still at a very... casual stage of the proceedings at that point.”

“That may have been so but I still remember he was here but he wasn’t.”

“Colby’s done so much, seen so much, sometimes I’m amazed his mind stays here at all. When things get hard I have the math I can vanish into, just let it override every bit of my thought process. I still don’t know what Colby does.”

Mary Jo just nodded and watched as Colby and Robert moved on to the next section of fence. “How’s your family? With Colby I mean. Are they okay with him?”

“Yeah. I mean I don’t have a lot of family. Me, my brother, my dad, that’s about it. But he and my brother get along and my dad gave us his blessing...”

“Did he?”

“After we got married, yes.”

“I can’t believe Colby got married and didn’t invite me.”

“We eloped. No one got invited. It was us, Esther, the judge and two friends who were witnesses.”

“That sounds like a Granger man. Quick, and efficient.”

“He can be romantic too. He has been known to spring for flowers and nice dinners on our anniversary.”

“Well that must have come from some weird recessive romance gene. I don’t think our father took our mother out for dinner once.”

“Well, now, please don’t take offence but I don’t think Winchester is brimming with Michelin star restaurants.”

“True. But after Frank was born I don’t even think he took her out of town.” Mary Jo shrugged. “Well I shouldn’t speak ill of the dead, right? Especially my own father.”

“I’m sure in his own way he tried.”

~

Robert felt a twinge in his back as he lifted the next split of wood. He wasn’t going to admit to it though. Not with Colby still looking trim and fit. Robert supposed he’d have to be, still chasing down bad guys through the tough streets of LA. Robert would never admit it to his brother but he had a pretty big collection of cop and FBI movies. He always wanted to ask Colby how accurate they were but knew he would be terribly disappointed to find out that they weren’t.

Not that there’d been much of an opportunity to talk to his brother. Robert knew he could have called. He could have just picked up the phone and Colby would have answered. He could have probably even reversed the charges and Colby would have accepted them. But his big brother had become some strange, foreign creature in his mind, inhabiting the land of movies in a very real way, chasing bad guys down the Sunset Strip with palm trees going by over head then going home at night to a house that, according to their mother, had a lemon tree and a koi pond.

“Hey, Cole?”

“Yeah?”

“Have you ever been up to the Hollywood sign?”

Colby pounded an extra long nail into the chunk of wood. “Yeah, a few times.”

“What’s it like.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean is it a good view?”

Colby shrugged a little. “Yeah, I guess. I mean the couple of times I’ve been up there it was mainly ‘cause someone dumped a body but yeah when the smog’s not too bad you get a pretty good view of the city.”

“Meet any movie stars?”

Colby chuckled. “A few. No one really big. It’s mainly producers and writers that get tangled up in really nasty things. You know, when money meets ego.”

Robert knew he was grinning and somewhere in his head he was writing out his own script with a hero FBI agent and the sleazy movie producer who gets more blood on his hands as he tries to hide his original crime.

“You and Clair should come down with Mom for Thanksgiving.” Colby offered.

“Nah, I couldn’t.”

“Why not? You could do the whole tourist bit. Chinese theatre, walk of fame, day trip to Disneyland.”

Robert wanted to say yes and book his ticket. “I don’t know if LA’s is my kind of place.”

Colby laughed. “That’s the big secret. LA is nobody’s kind of place. You just get there and try to chisel out a place for yourself where you can squeeze in and it’s like carving through granite.”

“How’d you manage it?”

“Found someone who already had a place and just so happened to have a little extra room for me.”

“So that’s what it was? Extra room.”

Colby looked up at Robert. “Do you want to ask me something directly?”

Robert squirmed inside. “You dated Patricia Philip.”

“Yes I did.”

“I mean she was beyond hot.”

Colby grinned. “Yes she was.”

“So... What happened? I mean how do you go from Patricia Philip to...” Robert leaned his head a little in the direction of Charlie.

“Honestly Robert, it just sort of happened.”

“You just sort of happened to switch teams.”

Colby shrugged. “We worked well together as part of a team and we just kept working well and one night we just worked very well.”

“You just worked well?”

“Life is what happens where you’re making other plans. I wasn’t even making other plans, I was just surviving and one day I looked around and realized I had a partner, a daughter, a father-in-law that treated me like a son and I was happy.”

Robert still couldn’t picture something like that just happening. “Just tell me you were drunk the first time.”

“We were both completely shit faced wasted.” Colby said with a completely straight face. “Does that make you feel better?”

“Actually, yes it does.”

~

It was far too hot to eat indoors so everyone had gathered around the back porch for a lunch that was the cold leftovers of the previous night’s feast washed down by copious amounts of lemonade.

Esther was collapsed under the broad apple tree looking a little worse for wear. Colby was sure she hadn’t slept more than a few hours if that and had spent the morning with Katie and Andrew weeding and watering the extensive vegetable garden. Not the easiest thing if Colby’s memory served him. Of course the garden was much smaller than it had been. When he was a kid they were nearly self-sufficient food wise and the cellar was always filled with canned vegetables from the summer and autumn harvests. It wasn’t that his mother didn’t trust her husband to provide for the family but she had been raised to assume that the rainy day you’re preparing for was always just around the corner.

As Colby pulled through some cold grilled chicken, Andrew got up from his location at the far end of the porch (a good tactical position), poured a large glass of lemonade from the big iced jug sitting by the door, and took it over to Esther. Esther took it with a smile and said something. Andrew sat down cross-legged beside her. Not touching, but close.

_ ‘Okay.’ _ Colby thought.

Colby got up and went to track down his brother who was eating his own lunch on one of the benches scattered around the back yard.

Colby sat down next to him. “Frank.”

“Colby.” Frank’s tone was neutral.

“We need to talk.”

“About?”

“You may have noticed my daughter over there.” Colby pointed to the tree.

“She’s kinda hard to miss.”

“Yes. Well the thing is Esther is many things. She is brilliant, she can be kind, she has a good sense of honesty, fairness, she’s a good cook, she is devoted to her family, if she takes after her mother in a few years she will be stunning, she is my pride and joy and the light of my life.” Colby put his arm around his brother’s shoulder in a less than friendly manner. “She is also _fifteen years old_. That is a fact you may want to bring to the attention of your youngest son.”

“Now hold on just a second.” Frank snapped. “You honestly think my boy...”

Colby grabbed his brother’s head and turned it towards the tree. “Look, Frank.”

Esther was leaning against the tree chattering away happily and somewhat obliviously. The look on Andrew’s face was perhaps best described as mildly twitterpated.

“Oh.”

“Oh, indeed. Now it’s probably been a while since he’s seen a woman who wasn’t in a hijab or fatigues but Esther is fifteen and about to go to college and as much as I am aware of the fact that your son is still transitioning his mind back into the civilian world if he lays a hand on her I’m going to have to break it off. You have daughters of your own Frank, you should understand.”

Frank nodded. “I’ll talk to him.”

“Thank you.”

~

Charlie found as he aged that math became more and more interwoven with memory. Soap bubbles covered his hands as he helped to wash the lunch time dishes. With soap bubbles came memories of a case in the mountains. He’d been so young. Barely twenty cases under his belt. More than a little intimidated by big bad Agent Edgerton but still determined to prove that his math could hold up in the field. He would never have believed it if a time traveler told him that maybe a decade later he would watch big bad Agent Edgerton throw up after taking his daughter on the tea cup ride at Disneyland.

Charlie chuckled a little to himself.

“Are dishes that amusing?” Emily Granger asked.

“Classic Newtonian physics allowed one to postulate that if you knew where every particle in the universe was and what it was doing in a particular moment then you could completely predict the future. I was just thinking that even if you could predict the future it doesn’t mean you’d actually believe it.”

Emily smiled. “Life does take interesting turns, doesn’t it?”

“There was a time in my life when I barely spoke to my own brother. He got engaged and didn’t tell me. There was a time I was sure I was going to marry a girl called Amita Ramanujan in some vastly complicated fusion wedding and have two carefully planned children. There was a time I dismissed Colby as some dumb jock not worth paying attention to ‘cause I didn’t think he’d survive more than five minutes in LA.”

“Honestly I didn’t think he’d survive LA either. I thought he’d come home after the Army and when he joined the FBI I thought he’d ask to be assigned somewhere close.”

Charlie rinsed away the bubbles. “I’m sure he meant to come home at some point.”

Emily shook her head. “No he didn’t. Honestly I have the first letter he sent after he got settled into LA. He spends half of it talking about the weather and the other half talking about this guy called Charlie who keeps finding their bad guys with a bunch of math.”

Charlie laughed. “Well I’m glad I made an impression on him.”

“Even if he didn’t make one on you.”

“Oh he made an impression,” Charlie confessed. “It just wasn’t a very academic one.”

“Well, as long as it’s all worked out in the end.”

~

Colby stood on top of the hill and looked down into the eastern valley. The sun setting behind him was still warm on his back. The little river at the bottom of the valley twisted around through the hills as it always had.

He had learned how to ski on the particular hill and in spring when the new grass was wet after rain a piece of cardboard made for an equally high speed ride. His mother would stand at the bottom and tell them they would break their necks if they kept it up. It didn’t stop any of them.

Colby was sure growing up he’d only seen the hill as a plaything and had never stopped to appreciate the idyllic view.

He was only looking at it now because after lunch he had been sent to check the far fences that separated the Granger land from county land. The fence was only thin wire easily damaged by cows, deer, and drunks.

Colby heard steps tramping up the hill behind him but he didn’t turn around.

“I have been sent to find you and bring you home for dinner,” Charlie said once he reached Colby’s side.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Colby mused aloud.

“Yes.”

“You can swim in that river. Ice skate too on certain parts.”

“Not at the same time I assume.”

“No. Frank fell through once. Me and Robert had to fish him out and by the time we’d hiked home all three of us were sick. Me and Frank got bronchitis and Robbie got pneumonia.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“As soon as Frank was better dad gave him one hell of a hiding for going out on the ice when everyone knew it was still too thin.”

Colby felt Charlie’s hand slide into his and give a little squeeze. “Come down for dinner, love.”

~

Since there were only half as many people as the night before dinner was held inside. Colby took a deep breath savoring the smell of roast that was wafting from the kitchen. Alan might be a very good cook but there was nothing like home cooking.

Emily came out with a lovely large leg of lamb and roasted vegetables on a tray. It was large enough that it probably wasn’t technically lamb but hogget. Any which way it probably came from the Johnson’s farm next door. They had a deal with Emily which was good meat in exchange for access to grazing land the Grangers just weren’t using any more.

“What’s that?” Frank asked as the beautiful roast was place on the table.

“It’s called a roast, dear.” Emily replied with considerable quantities of sarcasm.

“You usually do ham on Saturday?”

“I thought I’d try something different.”

“It looks great, mom.” Colby said quickly. “Did you get it from the Johnson’s?”

“Oh yes. They had a bumper crop and we had a mild spring so they didn’t lose nearly as many of the lambs as usual.”

“Well, looks delicious.”

Frank reached for the large carving knife but before he could get there Emily snatched it away. “Colby, dear, why don’t you carve?” Total silence descended upon the room.

“Uh... okay.” Colby carefully took the knife from his mother’s hand. The Granger family had a very careful hierarchy and there were certain things that were simply done by the eldest male. Hacking apart roast meat was one of them. Not that Frank had ever really gotten the hang of it. He had a habit of just whacking off chunks of meat that were either all lean or all fat. But that did not matter, Frank was giving him the kind of evil eye Colby had not seen since they were kids.

Colby eyed up the roast and the number of people at the table and set about carefully carving across the grain then along the bone. Alan did not stand for letting a good roast get destroyed by bad carving and had always kept a careful eye on any cutting done at the Eppes table.

The plates were passed around and his mother said a quick and surprisingly neutral grace and everyone tucked in.

Colby tried to avoid making pornographic moaning noises. For as much as he had adapted to the city he had not been raised with the concept of red meat being a luxury or necessarily a bad thing. Even when they didn’t have two red cents to rub together there was still good meat on the table, either home farmed or hunted.

Colby kept one eye on his brother who was poking a little at his lamb. “What’s this white thing in the meat, Mom?” Frank asked.

“It’s garlic, dear.”

_‘I will not kill my brother for being a boorish idiot.’_ Colby thought to himself.

From the other end of the table Robert spoke up. “It’s really nice, mom. You should make it more often.”

“Thank you, Robert.”

The table lapsed into silence. Lively dinner table conversation had been another Eppes trait that had taken some getting used to. For the Grangers dinner was a time to put food and probably beer into the mouth. Chew, swallow, repeat at a reasonably steady pace. When Colby got to basic training he realized just where that habit had come from. Five generations of wolfing down food before being sent out on a 30 mile jog.

“Oh, while all you boys are here,” Emily suddenly interjected into the silence. Colby’s stomach dropped with dread. “I got a call from Davy down at Fish and Game and he said if we can find that buck we can put it out of its misery.”

“What buck?” Colby asked quickly.

“Edna Jones hit a three point buck the other day but it was just in that little truck of hers so it hobbled off the road. The Johnson’s said they saw it in the east valley limping on a front leg and dragging a back one. Even if they heal it’ll starve come winter. Davy even said if it’s in good shape we can keep it. No point wasting the meat even if it’ll be a stringy this time of year.”

“Ah.” That was another reality of rural life Colby had half forgotten, tending and maintaining the population of game animals, especially on private land. The only predators in the area were occasional packs of stray dogs and once in a rare while a big cat came their way. If there had been a mild spring the deer population was probably going to explode in the next year.

“We’ll take care of it tomorrow, Mom.” Frank was practically bouncing with glee at the though of getting a gun in his hands. Then he slapped Andrew on the back. “Won’t we, boy?”

_‘I’m gonna kill my brother.’_ Colby thought quite calmly to himself.

“I think I would prefer not to, sir.” Andrew’s reply was quiet but Colby cheered internally that the kid was standing up for himself.

“Aw, come on. We haven’t been hunting in ages.”

_ ‘He doesn’t want to kill anything right now you fucking idiot.’_

“I’ll go.” Esther suddenly said.

“You will not.” Charlie replied instantly and at the exact same instant Frank said ‘Sure’.

Esther looked at Colby. “I don’t mind, convince your father without resorting to shouting or name calling.” The last part was directed as much to Charlie as Esther. When they fought as father and daughter Charlie could be as reasonable as any parent. When they fought as fellow geniuses they could devolve into pettiness very quickly. The problem was while Esther was getting a steadily better grip on her own intellect she was also being slammed by all the standard teenaged insanity, as a result the genius/father/daughter divide was getting more and more muddled.

“You’ve never handled a rifle.” Was Charlie’s first volley in the debate.

“Have too.”

“When?”

“Over the holidays when you had that thing in Brussels. Uncle Ian helped me qualify.”

“Of course he did. Range or course?”

“Course.”

“Which weapons.”

“M99SR, Longbow T-85, Barretta M101C, DARPA EXACTO 2, and a SIG-Sauer SSC 5000.”

Colby heard Frank make a little choking noise. After the mess with the Cromwell brothers Esther had tackled firearms training a little more seriously.

“None of those are exactly hunting rifles.”

“I’m sure the skills are transferable.”

Charlie squinted as Esther a little. “Shooting at paper targets is a little different to killing a living creature.”

“Well maybe it’s time I find out if I’m actually capable of taking a shot.”

“Or maybe that’s something that should be left unknown.”

“Knowledge for knowledge’s sake.”

“You really want to start debating me on scientific ethics?” Charlie had been stuck on the CalSci ethics committee for five years running and had developed a rather short fuse about it.

Colby was aware that the entire table had paused in their dinners. For the most part they looked like they had all accidentally turned to a documentary channel and gotten it stuck there. The only exceptions were his mother, Katie, and Andrew who was still looking mildly twitterpated.

Esther looked at her plate for a second. “Dilemma of the modern omnivore, should I be allowed to eat something that I am not, myself, willing to kill.”

“Ah.” Charlie jumped. “Is deer kosher?”

“You’re not kosher.”

“You are. Sort of.”

“Under a mildly liberal reading drawing primarily from Leviticus 11:3 through 8, yes. Not that you would know that.”

“Keep it on topic.” Colby said quickly before the discussion turned to religion which was currently on the Charlie and Esther’s list of no go topics.

“You’ll get poison oak.” Charlie stated with absolute certainty.

“Will not.”

“Will too. You can’t get within five feet of nature without getting poison oak.”

Esther’s face was going a little red. “And each time the case is more mild. Another few rounds and I’ll be immune.”

“Or go into anaphylaxis.”

“Wow, big word. Spell it and I’ll drop my case.”

Charlie’s face quickly went cold. “Nine digit factorial prime and I’ll drop mine.”

Colby was about to mediate since they had basically hit the name calling stage without actually calling each other names, when Katie leaned over and whispered into Esther’s ear.

“Four hundred seventy-nine million one thousand five hundred ninety nine.” Esther quickly rattled off.

Charlie scowled down the table at Katie then looked back to Esther. “That’s cheating.”

“I stated no rules, you could have gotten a dictionary.”

Charlie looked at Esther long and hard. Esther looked back. “Fine. Do not get hurt, do _not_ tell your grandfather, and try not to touch anything green.”

Esther looked rather smug as she tucked back into her dinner.

“Well, that’s settled then.” Frank’s brain had obviously needed a moment to catch up with the conversation. “We can go tomorrow afternoon.”

Charlie suddenly looked up from his dinner. “How the hell did Ian get his hands on an EXACTO 2?”

“I don’t know.” Esther mumbled through a mouthful of mashed potatoes.

“Those still have a restricted, classified, distribution and I’ve seen the distribution list and Ian’s not on it.”

Esther shrugged. “I think his new special friend is Secret Service.”

“I don’t care if his new special friend is God, he’s not supposed to have one and he certainly shouldn’t be letting you shoot it.”

“How’d it shoot?” Colby asked. Ian had told him he would get Esther proficient with a basic rifle but he’d obviously gone a little overboard.

Esther shook her head. “Kinda sticky, kicked weird. I liked the M99 better. Uncle Ian said he’d get me one when I turned 18.”

“No.” Charlie voice had the firmness of a steel rod. Esther looked at Colby but Colby shook his head.

“But...” Esther tried.

“No.” Charlie repeated. “I understand that Ian is like your best girlfriend and he really has no one else to spoil which is why I don’t say anything about shoe shopping or book shopping or the small arms training but as long as I am paying any part of your tuition or you want to live even partly under my roof then I say what weapons come into the house and you have no need for a .51mm high powered sniper riffle in the middle of LA. What would you do with it? Really?”

“Well...” Esther stumbled. “There’s that racoon that’s always trying to eat the koi?”

“And do you plan to shoot it from your bedroom window? Setting aside the fact that it would be _incredibly_ illegal, that caliber, at that distance, you’ll get a ten foot, rabies infected red haze.” Esther pouted a little and just pushed her dinner around her plate. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I’m sure Ian will happily buy you stilettos or something instead. And I mean the shoes not the knives.”

“I think they’re equally lethal.” Katie pointed out.

“Yes, but only one is a felony to walk down the street with.”

~

Esther was flipping through a journal under the back porch light when her father sat down next to her.

“Anything interesting?” Charlie asked.

“Just a translation of some medieval French church Latin texts that I’m pretty sure is completely wrong. I’ll write a letter of response when I get home. I can’t wait until I can throw at least a couple of letters after my name so they’ll actually take my shit seriously.”

Charlie pulled her into a one armed hug. “You’ll get there, sweetie. Few more years.”

“I want to be there now.” Esther whined throwing as much attitude and frustration into it as she could.

Her dad just laughed and gave her a kiss on the head.

“Do you really not want me to go hunting, ‘cause I won’t?”

“It’s okay. I mean I’m not thrilled about the idea but you should bond with your cousins.”

Esther leaned into her father’s shoulder. “Dad, these people are weird.”

Charlie laughed. “I’m sure they are thinking _exactly_ the same thing about us.”

“Probably. And they all look alike.” Esther said suddenly. “What was that movie? Children of the Corn?”

“Children of the Damned I think.”

“It’s creepy. And have you noticed Dad’s accent changing?”

“Yeah, I have. It’s kinda cute.”

“His vowels are starting to do weird things.”

“I’m waiting for him to say y’all.”

Esther giggled with her father. She knew she shouldn’t be joking about her dad like that but it was weird to hear his accent slip from a pretty flat Californian basic into the soft, rolling, country one that was apparently what he was raised on.

Charlie brushed a long curl away from Esther’s face. “So, I hear you didn’t sleep last night?”

_‘Oh, don’t bring up Andy.’_ Esther silently pleaded. “You know me.”

“Yeah, I think I sort of almost do some days. Think you’re going to get some sleep tonight?”

Esther wanted to stay up and keep an eye on Andy but she was tired enough that she was starting to get little twinkles on the edges of her vision. “I think so. I’m just going to finish this?” Esther waved her journal.

“Okay.” Her dad gave the top of her head a kiss. “Don’t stay up too late. Love you.”

“Love you too, Dad.”

“Good night.”

Esther turned back to her journal as her father disappeared back into the house. Every so often she’d look out into the night. She couldn’t see much but she was sure there was a shadow moving. After a while the shadow grew near then climbed the three steppes to the back porch. Andy sat down next to her.

“Is the perimeter secure?” Esther asked, only half joking.

“Yes.” Andy replied and he didn’t sound like he was joking at all.

“You should try to sleep tonight.”

“I once went three days with no sleep.” Andy offered.

“So did I.”

“Did you go into battle on the third day?”

“No, I passed out in gym class. My doctor gave me a prescription for sleeping pills after that but I don’t take them.”

“Why not?”

“Because if I’m taking the pills I can’t wake up from my nightmares.”

Andy was quiet for a long time. “I think I know that feeling,” was what he eventually said.


	3. Chapter 3

Colby tried to get up without waking Charlie but the guest bed was really meant for one. Maybe one and a half.

Charlie opened one eye. “What time is it?” He mumbled.

“Early.”

“Where are you going?”

“I have to go to church with Mom.”

Charlie opened his other eye and raise an eyebrow. “You’re going to church?”

The last time Colby had been to church was the last time he was home. “It’ll make my mother happy.”

“Is the gay Jewish atheist required to put in an appearance?”

Colby gave Charlie a quick kiss. “No. Go back to sleep.”

Charlie closed his eyes and snuggled back into his pillow. “Love you.” He mumbled.

Colby quickly changed into a clean pair of good pants, a work shirt, and just for God and his mother, a tie. Luckily years of FBI life had given him the skills to get into a suit and tie half dead in the dark.

Colby was shoving some pre church toast and coffee into his mouth when Esther stumbled out. He quickly made a mental note to tell Esther to buy longer night shirts. Floor length for preference.

“What’s everyone doing up?” She mumbled rubbing her eyes.

“Go back to bed sweetie, we’re just going to church.”

Esther frowned in thought. She wasn’t a morning person by nature and like Charlie it sometimes took a bit for her genius brain to boot up. “Can I come?”

Now it was time for Colby’s brain freeze up. “Why?” Last time Colby checked Esther took her faith quite seriously much to the confusion and slight disappointment of Charlie.

Esther shrugged. “I’ve never been.”

“Of course you can come, sweetie.” Emily said before Colby could start up a debate of his own.

“I’ll go get changed.” Esther said then disappeared down the hall.

Colby turned to his mother. “That might not be the best idea.”

“Why ever not?”

“Esther likes to argue.”

“All teenagers like to argue. Lord knows you did.”

“Yes but most teenagers haven’t memorized most of the world’s major religious texts including the Bible in English, Latin, Greek, Hebrew, and Aramaic. And she spent the last two years on the debate team.”

“I’m sure it’ll be fine. She’s just curious and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Colby dropped the argument but a low dread had sunk into his stomach. Esther came out a few minutes later in a long dark skirt and a tidy blouse. It was what she usually wore to temple and Colby knew she would stick out amongst the flower print dresses and summer hats the other women would be wearing. Church in Winchester was as much for seeing and being seen as anything else.

Colby handed her a piece of toast to eat on the way. When Esther had been small Charlie had agreed to let Alan take her to temple mainly to give them a couple of hours of child-free peace once a week. Alan had picked a Reform synagogue just a few miles up the road. Colby was never sure if it was the language or ritual or what but Esther had latched on. For a while he had been sure it was just an act of rebellion but it hadn’t faded and for such a liberal Californian, left-wing upbringing Esther’s personal faith had taken an oddly conservative bent.

In the center of town, just where Colby remembered it being, was the Winchester Community Church. Winchester was a small enough town that no one denomination was willing to set up shop except for a little place for the three Mormon families on the edge of town. The Community Church had a vaguely Baptist feel but Pastor Mike, who had been there since Colby was a boy, had been an Army chaplain back in the day so while he preached hell fire and brimstone he did it in a reasonably non denominational manor.

He, Esther and Andrew piled out of his mother’s truck. Colby leaned close to Esther. “Behave, don’t argue, and don’t cuss.”

Esther pinched her lips and looked rather affronted.

The four of them climbed the steps where Colby could see Pastor Mike shaking hands and greeting people. Like apparently every other man in Winchester, Pastor Mike had lost hair and gained weight but he was still an imposing six foot six with hands the size of pie plates. Colby was a little surprised the man was still alive actually. At the bottom of the steps waiting for Emily were the rest of the Grangers. They would easily take up two or three whole pews.

Emily climbed the steps of the church with three generations worth of her ducklings following obediently behind.

Colby was waved forward by his mother. “Pastor Mike. You remember my boy Colby?”

Colby accepted the firm handshake. “Of course I do. Never thought we’d see you again, son. Thought we’d lost you to the wilderness.”

“Not lost sir. Just figured out how to make it home.”

Emily pulled Esther over. “And this is my granddaughter, Esther. Esther, Pastor Mike.”

Colby watched as Pastor Mike quickly appraised Esther and Esther appraised him right back. “Well it’s very nice to meet you, young lady.”

“The pleasure is mine.” Esther said sweetly before being ushered along.

Colby was right. The collected Grangers took up two and a half pews. Esther picked up a bible sitting in its little slot. She thumbed through it and made a bit of a face. “What?”

“Nothing. It’s just a kinda old translation.”

“Well, sweetie, not everyone’s a linguist.”

“Don’t I know it. So how does this work?”

“Uh...” Colby hated to admit that he’d completely forgotten what order things were done in it had been so long. “Just follow along.”

Things went pretty smooth to start with. Hymns, readings. Esther only rolled her eyes a little at the readings then Pastor Mike got up on the pulpit. Since Tuesday was the 4th of July Pastor Make started giving his annual America as a Nation of One God sermon. Colby kicked himself. He had forgotten about that. If he had remembered he would have made Esther stay at home.

Colby saw her hand begin to creep up. He grabbed her wrist. ‘Don’t. Please.’ He mouthed silently. Esther rolled her eyes but lowered her hand. Even as she was doing that Colby got a good look at Andrew. Andrew was twitching and looked like he was about to raise his hand to interrupt as well.

_‘Shit.’_ Colby looked around. They were in the middle of the pew in the second row. There was no way he could get either of them out without everyone noticing and embarrassing his mother and probably making a scene with his brother. Colby took a deep breath and just hopped they could ride through it.

Colby spent the next ten minutes as tense as he’d ever been outside of a fire fight or hostage situation. He felt like a hostage himself to Pastor Mike’s grossly dated, nationalistic, philosophies. The sermon finished to a rousing Amen and the whole thing wrapped up pretty quickly, though the call to pray for America’s fighting forces caused more twitching on Andrew’s part. One last hymn and they were done.

Everyone stood and made their way outside and with as much heavy tradition as any other part of the church everyone made their way to the small hall adjacent to the church for bad coffee and cookies prepared by the church ladies.

Just before going in Esther grabbed Colby’s arm. “America as a Nation of One God?”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. He gives that sermon every year, I completely forgot.”

“Blocked out is more likely.” Colby cringed but silently agreed. “Can I at least have coffee after that?”

“Sure.”

“Oh, Dad?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m so proud of you for turning out, you know, not stupid.”

“Thank you, sweetie. Let’s go inside.”

Once inside the smell that hit Colby was one of pure sense memory. The smell of cheap, watery, percolated coffee in the giant urns mixed with the sugary sweet of hard packaged cookies laid out on plastic trays, that were, for some reason Colby had never grasped, fish shaped.

Colby grabbed a cup of coffee and handed it to Esther, knowing that unlike the first cup of coffee his father handed him it wouldn’t be 50% whiskey. Esther took a sip and made a bit of a face.

“I know, it aint [Peet’s](http://www.peets.com/).”

“It’s not even Starbucks.”

“Put some milk in it and grab a cookie.”

“Then what?”

“We mingle and try not to pick a fight.”

Esther grabbed a sugar cookie the peered around Colby. “Hey dad, there’s some woman in a really ugly green flower print dress checking you out.”

Colby looked over his shoulder. “Shit.”

“Who is it?”

“Patricia Philip.”

“Ex?”

“Yeah.”

Esther grinned a more than slightly evil grin. “I got your back. Don’t worry.”

“Behave.”

“Always.”

Colby turned around and was almost immediately ambushed by Patricia Philip. She had lost some of her looks over the years. The flaming red hair had faded a bit and the twenty inch waist had thickened a little but she was still reasonably attractive. “Colby?”

“Hello, Patricia.”

“My God, that is you? You haven’t aged a bit.” Patricia pulled Colby into a tight hug that he pulled away from quickly.

“You’re looking good yourself.”

“Liar.”

Colby grabbed Esther. “Patricia, this is my daughter, Esther.”

“Hi, so nice to meet you.” Esther gushed taking Patricia’s hand and giving it a strong two handed shake.

Patricia wiggled her hand away. “And you. So you have children, Colby?”

Colby put his arm around Esther. “Just the one.”

Patricia looked over the gathering. “Is your wife around, I’d love to meet her.” Colby knew by Patricia’s voice that would be that last thing she’d want.

“My mother’s in Stockholm.” Esther piped up suddenly. “‘Tis the season for early Nobel politicking. You know how those committees are, you need every bloody quark lined up right or it goes to the next guy. Though personally I really don’t see how she can lose out this year, I mean no one has looked into mater/energy micro particle transition like this, ever. It’s some of the biggest breakthroughs in particle physics since they got the LHC spun up at CERN.”

Colby blinked. Technically that was all true. The Bitch Ice Queen of physics land who was biologically Esther’s mother was probably going to pick up the Nobel in physics this year. The fact that Colby would not marry that woman if she was the last person on earth was rather secondary. And Esther hadn’t said she was Colby’s wife, just volunteered information about her mother.

Patricia blinked a few times herself obviously trying to keep up with Esther’s little speech. “Well, I hope she wins.”

“You and many other people.” Colby said with a smile. _‘Just not me.’ _

“Well, it was good to see you Colby. You should come home more often.”

“I’ll try.”

With a quick smile Patricia wandered off to spread the rumor that Colby was married to an almost Nobel Prize winning physicist.

Esther grinned up at him. “See, no problem.”

“You could have told her the truth.”

Esther shrugged. “I did.”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m sure the town will find out about you and Dad from someone. Probably Grandma Emily. This will just confuse the rumor mill even more.”

Colby had to admit that Esther had a point. “You know if that woman does win there could be problems.”

“Some reporter might come digging, I know. But I figure I can deal with that nightmare when it gets here. Besides I’m rooting for Uncle Larry to take the prize this year.”

“So am I.”

Colby grabbed another cookie and saw Pastor Mike heading his way with his mom, Frank and Andrew as well. “Sweetie, brace yourself.”

Pastor Mike made it to Colby and gave him a handshake and a slap on the arm. “It is good to see you Colby. I always worry about my wandering flock.”

“Well, I’m just fine, Pastor, thank you.”

Then in the slow motion from a horror movie Pastor Mike turned to Esther. “And how are you doing young lady?”

Esther smiled and sipped her coffee. “Fine, just fine, thank you.”

“Small town set up probably not what you’re used to.”

Esther managed to not choke on her coffee. “Not exactly, no.”

“Still, the good word is the good word.”

“That’s what they say.”

_‘Oh please stop there.’_ Colby begged any god or gods that might be listening.

“You know I baptized your father here.” Pastor Mike continued.

“I’m sure you did.”

“All the Grangers in fact, except of course for your grandmother here.”

“Well when you’re the only game in town.”

Pastor Mike laughed. “You should ask your father to let me do you, really get the whole family.”

Esther took a half step back into Colby who quickly put a protective arm around her. “We don’t really...” Colby tried to say.

“Ah, it’ll be good for the girl.” Pastor Mike reached out and ruffled Esther’s hair. That was not a good move. Esther had enough problems with her curls frizzing without someone working them up. Esther gave a little squeak.

“Thank you for the very kind offer,” Esther said quickly. “But getting dunked in potentially religious water was on the list of things I promised my rabbi I’d try to avoid while venturing into the wilderness. That and pickled pigs feet. Those actually exist, right? Nice coffee by the way. Not over done.”

A bubble of silence enveloped their little group. Emily looked at the ceiling, Frank looked dumb, and Andrew was managing to look twitchy and twitterpated at the same time.

Pastor Mike stared hard at Colby. “Have you strayed, son?”

“No, sir. My faith is what it’s always been. I just happen to respect the strong faith of others including my spouse, in-laws and daughter.”

Pastor Mike looked at Emily who met his gaze with equal strength. Frank was, for some inexplicable reason, keeping his mouth shut.

“I see. Well I have others of the flock I must speak to. You should come home more often Colby.”

“We’ll see.”

Pastor Mike moved off and Esther dropped her head. “I’m sorry Dad, I panicked.”

Emily patted Esther’s arm “Don’t worry about it, sweetie. Mike’s an old man. He hasn’t written a new sermon in a decade and probably hasn’t thought a new thought in two.”

Colby let Esther go. “I think however we should take that as a cue to make a tactical retreat.”

Esther tipped back her coffee, quickly draining the cup. “I’m right behind you.”

~

When they got back to the house Colby found Charlie and Katie hunched over a tiny travel chess board. Charlie was winning but not by much. Charlie peered at Esther. “You actually went to church?”

“Yep.”

“Why?”

“To see what all the fuss was about.”

“And how’d it go?” Charlie asked with no small amount of trepidation in his voice.

“They tried to baptize me.”

Colby was quickly on the receiving end of a very hard look. He put up his arms. “I had nothing to do with it, we got ambushed.”

Esther took her hair down from the tight bun that was keeping her waist length curls under control. “I missed taking a shower this morning. I’m going to go wash.” She announced before heading towards the bedrooms.

Charlie had not stopped staring at Colby. “Hon, really, I had no idea Pastor Mike would bring something like that up. It never even crossed my mind.”

“Is she okay?”

“She’s fine. She said thanks but no thanks and we made a quick tactical retreat. I never took my eyes off her.”

“This is why I object to religion, things like that. Faith is one thing, what people believe they believe and you can only do so much to try to change their minds but religion...”

“I know, I know. You’re in check by the way.” Charlie looked over his shoulder and made a quick move. “And you know as well as I do that Esther would drop kick someone before letting them get near her with a cup of suspicious water.”

Charlie scowled a little. “Next time she stays away from church.”

“No argument from me there.”

~

It was still several hours to dusk but Frank had wanted to get the hunting party together early. It would be him, Robert, Robert’s boy David, his oldest boy Frank Jr. and Colby’s girl. Since it was off season he figured it would be best if they double checked the weapons and spent some time at target practice first. If this buck was in as bad shape as people were saying he’d want to make sure it was a clean mercy kill.

Frank kept a close eye on Colby’s girl. He knew the others knew how to handle weapons. So did she by the looks of things. Her movements were clean and precise like the ones he remembered from basic training. And she was an odd one. There were moments when she didn’t seem too different from his own girls when they were that age, rolling their eyes, stamping their feet and trying to argue about every little thing, then there were times when this girl was something else, and not just smart.

She’d seemed honestly afraid of Pastor Mike at church had Colby looked more than a little nervous himself. Now Esther was bracing the rifle he’d loaned her along the top of the fence. There was something hard in her profile he was more used to seeing in the old men down at the VFW.

Esther sighted down the length of the rifle.

Frank had spent a lot of his military career stationed in Germany. There had been a girl when he first got there. She spoke English and was studying sociology. Frank never understood most of what she said but she was tall and blond and beautiful and liked his uniform and could do things in bed the girls of Winchester had probably never heard of.

After a few months he’d gotten a weekend off base and they had taken a train for hours out into the countryside to visit her parents. The town they got off the train at had been built hundreds of years before America had been discovered. It was full of tiny streets and picturesque spires. The girl’s parents hadn’t spoken English and Frank volunteered to just walk around the town and they could meet up for dinner.

Frank basically walked in a straight line until he came to a neatly ordered forest with a couple of paths heading in. He had kept to the tidy paths, enjoying seeing forest again when it suddenly cleared out. There was a huge open meadow with a chain link fence around it. Frank looked around. An ancient woman was shuffling up the tidy path with an equally ancient looking dog. Excuse me? Frank had asked, hoping the woman perhaps spoke English. What is this place? _It was a camp_. The old woman had replied in perfect English. _It was one of the small ones. _ She added as if this somehow changed what it was. Frank looked back through the forest, he could see the spire of some medieval cathedral over the top of the trees. It’s so close to town? _Yes_. People must have known it was here? _Yes_. And no one did anything? The old woman had shrugged. _What were we supposed to do? _ The old woman had shuffled on after that dragging the dog which had managed to fall asleep during the brief conversation.

Frank had stood there and kicked the ground until his boot hit something hard. He brushed away some dirt and had found a railroad track. It headed in a straight line from the cute little village to the flower filled meadow. Frank had stood there until it got dark then got lost making his way through the town and was late meeting the blond for dinner.

Frank jumped. Colby’s girl had pulled the trigger on the rifle and the can he had set on the furthest stump for his own practice leapt into the air. In one fluid movement she ejected the casing and reloaded. The whole thing took under two seconds. There was no pride or satisfaction on her face, just calm control.

Frank cleared his throat a little. Robert and the other boys were looking at her as well. “That was a good shot.”

“Thank you.”

“Who taught you how to handle a rifle like that?”

“My Uncle Ian.”

“He must be a pretty good shot himself.”

“He’s a professional hunter.”

“Really, what does he hunt?”

Colby’s girl grinned. “People.”

~

Esther crouched low in the grass knowing the stains were never going to come out of her jeans. There was a fresh deer track in the soft dirt and a drag mark behind it. It was probably their buck dragging its back leg. For a city kid Esther knew she wasn’t a half bad tracker even if she didn’t have a lot of hands on experience. Ian had showed her as a game when she was little. She was sure her dads were just happy to get her out of the house for a bit probably not realizing that Ian’s ideas of games were showing her how to track animals across the playground and up into the county park brush. She had spent several years with semi chronic poison oak as a result of this.

Esther waved her hand and pointed the direction. She suddenly wondered if FBI hand signals were the same as military hand signals. She’d never asked.

They made their way down the slope towards the river, luckily into the wind. Esther knew she had taken point without any discussion but she’d found the track. She spotted another set and there were chew marks on the leaves of a nearby bush. At least she thought they were chew marks. She waved the others over to look.

Frank looked to the horizon then pointed north east. “It’s probably heading to Rope Bend. There’s a little beach and they like to water there.”

They followed the tracks until they reached some low bushes that looked like they had been pushed aside. Esther could hear the river not too far off. She got low and looked through the bushes. There was a slight slope and at the bottom was the river and a three prong buck, its back leg twisted around. It leaned forward to drink but couldn’t seem to get its head down to the water. It finally crumpled, laying itself down to drink then struggled to raise itself back up with just its two good legs.

_ ‘This is mercy.’ _ Esther thought. _ ‘It’ll dehydrate before it starves.’ _

Esther signaled that she had a clear shot. She could feel her heart banging in her ears. _ ‘This is mercy.’ _

She slowly and quietly removed her weapon from her back. She could feel a slight tremor in her fingers. _‘Mercy, mercy.’ _

She slid a bullet into place. It sounded impossibly loud. Louder even then the heavy but steady beat of her heart, which was deafening.

She peered through the scope, carefully adjusting it and took aim. She exhaled and waited for a moment between heartbeats. _ ‘Mercy.’ _

Esther pulled the trigger and the buck dropped.

The shot echoed around the valley and a hundred birds lifted from the trees and grass. Esther ejected the shell but didn’t reload.

The four men were already gathered around the buck by the time Esther managed to get back to her feet. Her heart was still pounding loudly in her ears. The men all looked confused.

“What’s wrong?”

“Where were you aiming?” Frank asked.

“The head?” Esther answered. She wasn’t sure if she was supposed to be aiming for some other bit.

“Where’s the bullet hole?”

Esther kneeled down beside the buck and lay her hands on the neck. It was still warm but she couldn’t feel any pulse beneath her hands and it certainly wasn’t breathing. She must have hit it.

She carefully lifted the head. There was a small pool of blood. “Oh, ear.” That hadn’t been exactly what she was aiming for but the weapon she was using wasn’t exactly a SIG. She suddenly heard her Uncle Ian in her head admonishing her for blaming her weapon for a bad shot. “I missed.”

“What do you mean you missed?” Frank Jr. asked.

“I was aiming for the medulla oblongata.” She touched the back of the bucks head low near the neck. “I got the ear.”

“That’s only a couple of inches.”

“In a hostage situation that’s the difference between the hostage taker and the hostage.”

“Deer don’t usually take people hostage.”

Esther just shrugged. She knew why she had missed. She hadn’t been able to calm herself enough. Her heart had been beating too hard and fast and she’d taken the shot anyway.

She stroked her hand along the neck a few times and silently apologized in case the deer had felt any pain. If she had gotten the shot right it shouldn’t have felt anything at all.

“Now what do we do with it?” Esther asked.

“Ever dressed a fresh kill?” Frank asked.

“No.”

A large knife landed in the sand next to her. “Well, time to learn something new.”

~

Colby was out front when the guys came down the hill, a mid sized buck being carried between them. Esther was taking up the rear. When they got closer he could see that Esther had blood on the sleeves of her shirt. Colby was not impressed.

“You made her dress it, Frank?”

“Hey, rules are rules. You shoot it you dress it.”

Colby looked to Esther. She had a slightly distant look on her face. One of the reasons he had been okay with her going was because he didn’t think she’d be the one to take the shot. That was Frank’s thing. “You got it?”

“Yeah.” Esther replied not looking at him.

“Clean shot?”

“Yes, but not quite what I was aiming for.”

“How much did you miss by?”

“About four inches.”

Colby cringed. “That’s a bit.”

“I know. I couldn’t get my blood pressure down, I could feel it in my fingers, but took the shot anyways. I think its neck was broken or something. It couldn’t put its head far enough down to drink.”

“Discover something about yourself?”

Esther stared at a random patch of dirt. “I think so but I think it’s still processing.”

Colby plucked a stray leaf from her hair. “Okay. Leave your weapon with me and go take a shower. And take a couple of Benadryl just in case.”

Esther handed Colby her rifle and went into the house. Colby looked at his older brother.

“Cole, I hate to say this but your kid’s a little creepy.” Colby gave a snort. “She’s also a fucking good shot I don’t care what she or you says.” The other guys all murmured in agreement.

“We are trying not to encourage her into any career path that involves weapons. She already wants to be James Bond when she grows up and quite frankly I’d much rather see her become a librarian or something. Some job where she’s less likely to get herself killed.”

“Well, Cole, I don’t think you’re gonna to get much of a choice in the matter.”

~

Dinner was a little tense. Emily had of course invited everyone to stay. David and Frank Jr. had to go back to their own homes but Robert and Frank had both accepted the offer of a free meal. Especially Frank who probably still thought of cooking as women’s work and had yet to pick up another one of those as far as Colby knew.

Strangely enough though it was Frank who was trying to make conversation. And with Esther.

“So, uh, I hear you’re heading off to college?”

“In September, yeah.”

“Little early?”

Esther rolled her eyes and finished off glaring at Charlie. “I could have gone earlier but _someone_ felt it would effect negatively on my psychological development.”

“I will feel no guilt for holding you back two years. You’ll thank me when you’re older.” Charlie stated quite plainly.

There was more eye rolling and even a bit of face pulling.

“Don’t make faces at the dinner table.” Colby said feeling like he was channeling his mother more and more each day. The fact that his mother was smirking was not helping.

“I could have gone earlier. I could have gone on an _eight_ year scholarship.”

“You don’t need it and you sure as hell are not taking money from them.” Colby snapped. He couldn’t help it. It had been the raging unsettled family debate for the last six months.

“Who?” Frank asked.

“The Agency offered to pay all my schooling.”

“As long as you agree to work for them.”

“What Agency?”

“CIA.” Colby and Charlie said in unison.

“Maybe I _want_ to work for them.”

“You are fifteen. You have no idea what you want.”

Esther put down her fork hard. “God, Dad. What is it with you? I want to serve my country, not spend my life with my nose in a book.” Colby knew that was an incredibly low blow, especially sitting at the Granger family table. “Seriously, what is it? I’m not yours genetically, I’m not worthy enough?”

Colby saw Charlie just put his face into his hand. He had stated his feeling on the issues clearly, at length, months ago.

“You are talking about being a spy. The uniform at least has some protection.”

“Oh, so I should join the Army?”

“Over my dead body.”

“Well you didn’t exactly raise me to be a kindergarten teacher. Other girls got ballet lesson, I got nine years of Krav Maga. I can kill people with my bare hands.”

“You could have taken ballet.”

“I didn’t know it was on offer. Just like I didn’t know not every eight year old could disassemble a Glock.”

“That was for your own safety.”

“No, the locked gun cabinet was for my safety, weapons training was just putting more information into my head.”

“Can we discuss this later?”

“Am I ever going to change your mind?” Esther’s voice was cold.

“No! And you know why, because I’ve been where you want to be and it is hell. I lied for three years to everyone I knew. I spent six weeks in federal prison. I looked your Uncle Don in the eye and had to confess to selling out my country to the Chinese so as not to blow my cover.” Colby grabbed Esther’s hand and held it to his chest. “I got a syringe of potassium chloride shoved right here. They used to use that to execute people. For two minutes I was dead.” Esther pulled her hand away. “And you think it’ll be a grand adventure but all I can think about is losing track of you for months on end only to turn on CNN to some grainy footage of you getting beheaded by militants in some desert shit hole and it would destroy me and it would destroy this family.”

“It wouldn’t happen that way,” Esther said softly.

“You can’t know that.”

Colby watched as Esther’s jaw locked and her eyes went hard but her lip quivered. Then she took a deep breath, got up and walked away. After a few seconds the sound of the back door shutting echoed through the house. The table was silent.

Colby looked at his dinner, suddenly not hungry. After a moment he felt Frank’s hand on his shoulder. “Ain’t having teenagers fun?”

~

Esther had been walking down the road for a while. It wasn’t like she could get lost. There were no turns and the moon was nearly full. She heard the truck coming up behind her. She moved to the side of the road so it could pass. Instead it slowed and pulled up along side.

Emily rolled down the window. “Come on, sweetie. Before your dads realize how far you’ve gone and really freak out.”

Esther sighed and got into the truck. Emily turned the truck but didn’t take the road back at any speed. “You know when John was courting me, that’s your grandfather, I spent a lot of time thinking about how good he looked in his uniform. All the shiny medals he had. And he would talk about four generations of Granger family duty and honor and I thought it was so heroic and romantic. Then Frank was born and the doctor told me I had a son and suddenly it went from heroic and romantic to terrifying. If you told your father you wanted to be a librarian he’d be terrified of you getting a septic paper cut.” Esther chuckled a little. “It’s his job to be worried for you.”

“It just... You know babies’ brains do a weird thing after a few months. They start breaking themselves. Everyone is born able to recognize every possible sound another human can make but if a baby doesn’t hear a particular sound its brain just gets rid of the neural connection associated with it. It’s why people raised in a lot of Asian language groups can’t differentiate between l’s and r’s. Their brains just don’t have the connection for one. But something went wrong with mine. Mine never broke. Last year one of my tutors had me listen to fifty different clicks used by Bushmen in Africa and I could hear the difference between all fifty. I started kindergarten speaking English, Spanish, Latin, Greek, Hebrew and both kinds of Tolkien Elvish. Our security forces need linguists on the ground. Desperately. Especially ones that can learn regional dialects quickly and accurately.”

Emily turned the truck up the drive. “I know that. And you know what? Your father knows that too. I begged all my boys not to join the Army but I knew they all would so at the end of the day all I could do was hug them and be proud of them and pray they would come home. If you chose to serve your country your father will be proud of you. He’ll just be terrified as well.”

Esther looked at the white washed house glowing softly in the moonlight. “You know what my mother put on the note she left with me?” Esther’s voice was soft.

“No.”

“She wrote ‘she’s probably not a genius.’ She left me to be a burden on my father. To distract him from his work and embarrass him with my inadequateness.”

Emily laid her hand on Esther’s. “Well then she didn’t know your father. Either of them. Or you.”

“The bitch might win the noble prize this year.”

“For what?”

“Physics. She is actually generally referred to as the Bitch Ice Queen of Physics Land, and that’s in polite company. I don’t want anyone to ever know I’m related to her.”

“Why?”

“I don’t want her to ever be able to take even the smallest amount of credit for anything I ever do. Ever. If I was a drooling idiot I’d want the world to know about her, but I am a genius just like my father, just like her and I don’t want her to be able to ever take any sort of credit or even false pride in me. Especially in public.” Esther turned to her grandmother. “Does that make me horrible, to have absolutely no affection for my own mother?”

“No dear, it doesn’t. Not in your case.”

Esther rubbed at her eyes. The day seemed to be spinning around her brain in a heavy gale. “I wasn’t upset that I killed that deer today. I was only upset that the shot wasn’t as clean as I wanted it to be.”

“From what Frank tells me you did the poor thing a kindness and it was the cleanest shot he’d ever seen.”

“Would that guy have really tried to baptize me?” Esther asked, her mind leaping about.

“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t have let Mike get near you. Your grandfather would never have forgiven me and I’m still trying to get his meatloaf recipe off of him.”

Esther grinned. “Cumin. That’s the secret. Ketchup and cumin.”

“I’ll keep that in mind, now come on inside. There’s still some chilled peaches left for you in the fridge.”

~

Colby tossed in bed. The night was hot and still and he was having a hard time getting comfortable. That and he knew he was still agitated. In two months he’d be packing his little girl off to college. She wasn’t going far. Ninety minutes up the coast in light traffic, it wasn’t like they were sending her to Jersey but she wouldn’t be at the dinner table every night. She wouldn’t be staying up with Charlie, her nose in a book, until 4 a.m.

Colby was pretty sure it had been last week she was cutting her teeth on his knuckles. And just the week before that he’d come home with a couple of pizzas to find a baby cradled in Charlie’s arms. Charlie had been so terrified, not sure what to do, or how to do it. Colby had fallen in love as soon as he held her and looked into her eyes, still an odd dark green blue in those days.

Now she was leaving, she was leaving and making plans to put herself in danger. And after all the time they had spent trying to protect her and teach her how to protect herself.

He felt Charlie’s fingers find his in the dark. “We can’t write her life for her. You know that.”

“I can try.”

“Yeah, you can. And you know as well as I do that will only push her away. She’s your daughter Colby. Sometimes I think she’s more your daughter than mine.”

“There’s plenty of you in her.”

“I’m not so sure some days. I think she picked up the Eppes stubbornness but I think she got your flavor of passion and drive. Your way of looking at the world. You, Don, Megan... Ian, you all made sure she knew how to kick ass and take names right from the beginning. I could help her over some of the genius road bumps but you can’t raise a child surrounded by good, brave, honorable men and women serving their country with distinction and not expect them to get ideas.”

“Charlie, tell me you aren’t terrified that something will happen to her.”

“I have nightmares about it almost every night and I don’t know if there are Jewish nuns but I’d be perfectly happy if she announced that she wanted to spend the rest of her life studying on a safe mountain top somewhere.” Colby chuckled into the dark a little. “As long as she knows she’s got someplace safe to come home and people who love her I’m sure she’ll be fine in the end.”

“You can't know that.”

“No. But I have to believe it.”


	4. Chapter 4

It was unpleasantly hot and Emily Granger had announced that some of the ladies always came around for coffee on Monday afternoons. That meant that everyone decided to clear out of the house. Katie went to visit some old friends and Andrew offered to take Esther into town and show her around. Colby packed up a couple of towels and offered to show Charlie where they used to swim as kids.

Charlie floated in the little pool. A couple of giant boulders had curved the little river in the East Valley around and in one part it carved a shaded hole about six feed deep. There was a bit of a current but not enough to worry about.

“Oh, this is nice.”

“We used to have a rope swing here. It’s amazing we didn’t kill ourselves. Unless you let go just right you either hit the bank or slammed into the rocks.”

Charlie grabbed Colby’s hand as he drifted past. “And tell me, when you were older did you bring pretty girls down here?”

“Oh maybe once or twice.”

“And what would you do with them?” Charlie asked with forced innocence.

“Well,” Colby drew Charlie close, bracing his back against one of the slabs of granite. His feet touched bottom. “We’d often start with this.”

Colby kissed Charlie, his lips cool from the water and his mouth hot. Charlie kissed back weaving one hand into Colby’s hair while gripping Colby’s still strong bicep to stay afloat.

They were creeping up on twenty years together and they knew how to kiss. Each kiss was soft and wet and it was the kind of kiss that could go on for long stretches. Charlie let himself sink into the kiss, loving the way Colby was warm in contrast to the cool water and still so strong.

Charlie broke from the kiss and nuzzled at Colby’s neck licking and kissing at the cool clean skin.

“God, Charlie.”

Charlie knew every nerve on his husband’s body by now, mapped out year after year. Charlie took a breath and using Colby’s body as a guide dipped below the water and placed open mouthed kisses along Colby’s thigh and nuzzled at his groin before coming up for air.

“Oh, I could never talk any of the girls into doing that.”

“Well I guess that’s why I’m here and they’re not.”

Colby pulled him up into another round of slow kisses. They were in no rush and that was a luxury that could not be passed up. Charlie let himself relax as the water caressed them and nudged their bodies with gentle waves. Charlie’s mind slipped as he felt the current wrap around him. Flashes of fluid dynamics curled around his mind even as Colby’s fingers wove their way into his hair.

That was math still tied with strong memory, much of it sexual. Early explorations and conquests. The foolish little boy he had been, barely an adult, had wanted to spend the rest of eternity hopping from bed to bed living in hedonistic decadence. Charlie smiled into his kiss. That Charlie had been a fool. He could not now imagine trading anything for the simple pleasure of kissing Colby in a cool stream on a summer’s day.

Charlie let the water hold him and wrapped his legs around Colby’s waist throwing a little more heat into their kiss. Colby’s moan reverberated through the water, along Charlie’s body and down his spine and even in the cool of the water Charlie could feel Colby’s heat growing, and pressing against him.

Charlie rocked against Colby and Colby held tight. “Oh Charlie, definitely never got the girls to do this.”

Charlie nipped his way down Colby’s throat and along his shoulder. “Why don’t we use the buoyancy of the water to compensate for the fact that neither of our backs are what they used to be and do something else I bet the oh so good girls of Winchester would never let you do.”

“You are still a corrupting influence on me, Charlie.”

Charlie grinned. “I’ve never heard you complain.”

“And I’m not about to start now.”

Charlie closed his eyes and relished the wicked thrill as Colby’s hands slid down his body and pushed his shorts past his hips.

Charlie hiked himself higher up Colby’s body as Colby’s fingers teased at his entrance. Water wasn’t the best lubricant but Charlie found himself easily relaxing under the so familiar touch.

Colby chuckled a little.

“What?”

“It’s just funny the way life turns out.”

Charlie groaned a little as Colby’s finger slid in. “Build a time machine, go back in time, tell that teenaged boy who would bring girls down here that this would happen he wouldn’t believe you, would he?”

Colby pushed in a second finger. “Nope.”

“Hey Charlie, this is you from the future. You know that dumb jock with the pretty green eyes that just transferred in? Don’t sell him short. You’re going to marry him one day and when your daughter is about to go to college he’s going to take you home and make love to you in a beautiful, clear stream on a warm summer day.”

Colby twisted his fingers and Charlie sighed. “You think I have pretty eyes?”

“It was one of the first thoughts I ever thought about you. How pretty your eyes are.”

Charlie let his mouth be claimed in a penetrating kiss as Colby started working three fingers.

Charlie rocked his hips ridding on Colby’s fingers demanding his body open up. Charlie broke from the kiss, canted his hips up, and leaned back.

“First thought I had about you,” Colby whispered. “You scared me. You walked into a room and took it over with a million things I didn’t understand and you scared me but you were amazing.”

Colby shimmied his own shorts lower and carefully guided himself into Charlie.

Charlie closed his eyes and let himself float as Colby filled him. Colby always felt so right. Even the first time, drunk and desperate Colby had stretched and filled him in a way that seemed to fit perfectly. “Oh yes.”

“Oh you are tight, Charlie.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Colby rotated his hips a little in the way that always sent Charlie’s head spinning. “Are you implying that I’m neglecting my marital duties?”

“Never.”

Colby grabbed Charlie’s hips and spun around pressing Charlie’s back against the granite worn smooth by a hundred thousand spring floods.

Charlie grabbed Colby’s shoulders and held on as Colby worked in him, each stroke long and strong, sending power rolling up his spine.

“Is that what you’re looking for?” Colby growled sending extra ripples along Charlie’s body.

“Yes, shit. Yes.”

Charlie knew Colby still had stamina and closed his eyes letting the dappled sun warm his face as Colby warmed his body.

Then Colby stepped back still holding Charlie’s hips, his cock buried deep. “Hold on.”

Charlie kept his legs tight around Colby’s waist. Colby kicked away from the bottom sending them across the pool and shooting blinding pleasure up Charlie’s body.

Colby kicked again leaning back. Charlie got the idea. With one more kick Colby was on his back in the pebble-strewn shallows and Charlie was riding him hard and fast, unable to help the thought that Colby looked nearly unreal, some creature born of water and sun.

Colby came with a deep growl that sent ripples racing out through the water and filling Charlie with a warmth that seemed to spread through his body until he grasped his own cock and with just a few fast strokes spilled his seed across Colby’s body, golden in the sunlight.

~

Esther was not used to feeling conspicuous. She knew she could make herself the center of attention just by opening her mouth but she also knew at the end of the day she was somewhat common looking. At least common by LA standards.

She was sitting at a little pink and white booth while Andy was collecting a banana spilt for the two of them. They had just intended to get ice cream but Esther had seen banana split on the menu and realized she’d never actually had one.

At a table near by were three girls about her age, all some flavor of blond and all pretending like they weren’t looking at her. The same could be said about the couple with the little kid sitting at the far end of the counter.

Andy sat down with the banana split and two spoons. It was a monster creation of ice cream, whip cream, chocolate sauce, caramel sauce, nuts and a cherry. Esther took it on faith that there might actually be a banana somewhere on the bottom.

“Wow. I don’t know how much of that I can get through.”

Andy grinned. It was perhaps the first truly proper grin she’d ever seen on him. It reminded her a bit of her dad. “I’ll pick up the slack for you.”

“I’m holding you to that.” Andy handed her a spoon and they both dug in. Esther dug around trying to get bits of banana with different combinations of ice cream and toppings. Andy’s approach was more indiscriminate but Esther figured it had probably been a while since he’d had ice cream or at least good ice cream.

“So what do you think?” Andy asked after they’d been at it for a few minutes.

Esther took a moment to contemplate the question. “The chocolate and banana work ‘cause chocolate works with everything and the strawberry and banana work in a kind of strawberry smoothie way but I’m not sure if the vanilla and banana work. They’re both kind of thick flavors.” Andy smiled again and shook his head a little. “Well you asked.”

“Yes, I did.”

Esther leaned over the table close to him. “Is everyone in here looking at me or am I paranoid?”

Andy’s face got guilty. “The town has less than 500 people these days. Everyone who’s about the same age knows everyone else.”

“Right.” Esther turned quickly catching the girls at the table staring. “Ladies, take a picture, it’ll last longer.” The girls quickly looked away and Esther turned back to Andy. “My high school had 1500 people and we were a small private school. Some of the big public schools you’re looking at three, four thousand or more.”

“There were 15 in my graduating class and we were a big year.”

Esther dug around for a little more chocolate. “Must make for a small dating pool.”

“Yes. And since you know all the same people your whole life there’s not exactly mystery. The girl I went to prom with was the same girl I dared to eat a bug when we were four.”

“Did she eat it?”

“Yes. We called her bug girl until she was ten.”

“Is she waiting for you? I mean you’re hanging out with me shouldn’t you be chasing up the girl you left behind or something?”

Andy shrugged a little. “She hooked up with someone else.”

Esther cringed and kicked herself. “I’m sorry.”

“Well I couldn’t exactly ask her to wait for years on end when I might not come back at all.”

“Still.”

Andy picked up the cherry and held it out. Esther shook her head. She’d never liked maraschino cherries. Something that red shouldn’t taste like almonds.

“You must have some guy in LA waiting for your return from the sticks?”

“No.” Esther quickly answered. “There was sort of someone a few months ago but it didn’t work out.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I’m going to be starting university soon anyways. I’ll need to focus on my academics. Dating is overrated at any rate.”

The conversation fell a little silent after that. Esther was aware that people were still looking. Anytime anyone new came in for an ice cream to cool the summer day their eyes would land on her for a moment. Esther was always aware that her life could be in danger due to her fathers’ work but after the mess with the Cromwell brothers that knowledge became far more real. For as much as she tried to just go about her days there was a part of her now that was always tinged with light paranoia.

Esther put down her spoon. “That’s it. Any more and I will be sick. The rest is yours.”

There wasn’t really that much left. Mainly just a thick soup of melted ice cream and missed toppings. Still, Andy cleaned the bowl then leaned back with that pleased expression all men seemed to get after finishing off more food than they should really have eaten.

“I hope we can walk all that off before dinner.”

“There’s still a bit of the town to see. Haven’t shown you the park or the high school yet.”

“Well,” Esther gestured grandly to the main street through the large plate glass window. “Lead on Macduff.”

Andy stood with perhaps a bit of a groan and offered Esther his arm before they headed out, the bell above the door giving a little ring as they left.

Andy lead them down Main Street which was truly small town America. That meant two thirds of the store fronts were empty and the rest were decked out in red, white and blue for the holiday. The vehicles that went past them were mainly battered old trucks, at least half of them had to still be running on pure gas.

“So this is Winchester.” Andy said quietly as they strolled.

“It’s cute.”

“It’s dying. There’s nothing to do, less work every year, a few of the farm families are holding on and there are families like mine that are just too scared to leave but everyone who can get out does.”

Esther wasn’t sure what to say. She grew up in a middle of a million people with more arriving every day hunting the Hollywood dream. Some neighborhoods were good, some weren’t but there was no part of the greater LA area that couldn’t be described as alive. “Do you want out?”

Andy shrugged. “Some days. Some days I think about it and I don’t ever want to leave this place ever again. The world is scary.”

“I hear you on that one.”

Andy turned and lead them through a large green park with a dry fountain in the middle and a large grove of trees off to the side. Some workers were setting up a wobbling stage and sound system and laying down a dance floor on the grass.

On the far side of the park, right across the street, a sign proudly read _Winchester High School, Idaho State Football Champions, 1987. Home of the fighting Wildcats. _

“And here we are.” Andy gestured grandly. “Winchester High School.”

“Cool.”

“Actually it’s all the schools now. There just aren’t enough students anymore to justify three different buildings. But it’s still called the high school.”

Esther gave Andy’s arm a little tug. “Show me around.”

They crossed the street and actually tried the front doors but found them quite unsurprisingly locked. So they circled around the back past the gym to the football field.

“And how many generations of Grangers have spilled their blood and sweat on this field?”

Andy smiled. “A few, probably. I know my dad did.”

“Mine was on the wrestling team, no jokes please. I’ve told them all already.”

They climbed the bleachers, the cheap paint that spelled out Wildcats already fading in the summer sun.

“Go Wildcats.” Esther cheered quietly as they reached the top and sat.

“What was your school’s team?”

“We were the Rattlesnakes. Everyone used to say it was because half the parents were lawyers and the other half were agents. We didn’t have a football team. Our basketball team was pretty good though.”

Andy didn’t say anything, just stared out across the field. Esther wasn’t sure but he seemed to be coming back down to earth, bit by bit but he still seemed to take little mental field trips now and again. Esther was really just thankful he hadn’t asked for his gun back.

“They’re going to have a big dance in the park tomorrow night.” Andy said out of the blue.

“Yeah, dad mentioned it. Said it was the big, yearly shindig.”

“Whole town shows up.”

“Sounds like fun.”

“Would you like to come with me?” Andy asked staring at some spot over Esther’s right shoulder.

“Sure. I mean we were planning on going anyways.”

Andy smiled.

Esther smiled back, then quite suddenly found a pair of sticky lips pressed against hers.

Esther jumped back. “Woah! Okay. Time out. I think there has been a miss communication.”

Andy moved back quickly. “I’m sorry. I just thought...”

“Okay. Few points here. One: my father is a federal agent are you out of your mind? Two: I don’t know what age of consent around here is but I’m fifteen and you’re what?”

“Twenty.” Andy mumbled looking like he’d been kicked.

“Right, okay we’re talking felony. Uh... Three. You’re my cousin, okay maybe not genetically but there is an eww factor here. What are we up to?”

“Three.”

“Right, four. Um... look you are in a town full of really hot, stacked, blonds as far as I can tell so I don’t even know why you’re looking at me and...” Esther took a deep breath. Andy looked both scared and crushed. “Okay, look, it’s not you it’s me. I’m sure you’re a really nice guy, and when you’re all here you’re probably a lot of fun to be around but... I just don’t really go in for guys these days.”

“‘Cause of the last one?” Andy asked.

Esther cringed. “There wasn’t a last one, there’s never been a guy, ever. I’m not really into _guys_.” Esther prayed Andy would get the hint without her having to spell it out. Andy looked at her, his head tilting to the left a bit. Esther could hear the wheels turning.

“Oh.” He finally said. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.” Esther could see the wheels still turning.

“If there’s never been a guy how do you know?”

Esther wanted to laugh. “Have you ever been with a guy?”

“No.” Andy answered quickly.

“They how do you know you’re not a flaming homosexual?”

“I just do.” There was a bit of silence. “Oh.”

“Yeah, oh.” Andy hung his head looking completely kicked by life. Esther took a deep breath and made a choice. “Okay, maybe you’re right.” Andy’s head snapped up. “You never really know ‘till you try so... One kiss, no hands, no tongue, convince me of the joy of the male form.”

Andy smiled and scooted a little closer. Esther braced herself. Andy kissed her. His lips were sticky from the ice cream, warm and a bit chapped. Esther dug down deep looking for any spark, any little flutter, anything. Andy leaned back and looked hopeful. Esther shook her head.

“It wasn’t bad on a mechanical level there’s just... It aint there.” Andy hung his head again. “I’ll still go to the party with you, if you like?”

“Thank you.” Andy said softly.

Esther reached out and patted his arm. “If the whole town is going to be there I’m sure there will be someone willing to rock your socks tomorrow and I will totally be your wing man.”

“Thank you.”

“Look, trust me. You’re gonna be fine.”

~

Colby was half asleep on the front porch when Andrew’s truck rolled up the drive. Colby had been a little worried about letting Esther spend the day with him but Andrew seemed to be coming back to the world plus Esther seemed honestly oblivious to his twitterpated looks.

The two of them hopped out of the truck.

“Hey Sweetie, how was your afternoon?”

“It was fine. I got to see the home of the mighty fighting Wildcats.”

“Sounds like fun.” Colby looked Andrew over. He looked a little glum. “And how are you Andrew?”

“I’m fine, thank you, sir.”

Colby was pretty sure Andrew could be holding his own severed arm and give that reply. “Of course you are. Your grandmother was saying something about picking a bunch of tomatoes for dinner. She might need a hand.”

“Yes, sir.” Andrew gave Esther a quick nod and vanished into the house.

“They really do train you guys to follow orders don’t they?”

“Yes they do.” Colby patted the porch swing next to him. “Sit down. How’s he doing, really?”

Esther sat down setting the swing in motion. “He’s doing better.”

“Really?”

“I think his brain still takes little detours once in a while but we got ice cream and he showed me main street and the park and the high school and he seemed okay.”

“Sweetie, you know if he ever makes you uncomfortable...”

“I’m fine dad. And Andy is... fine-ish. He’s moving more in the direction of fine.”

“Okay. I just worry, you know that.”

“Yeah Dad, I know.”


	5. Chapter 5

Colby got up early on the morning of the fourth. There was something he needed to do. He didn’t want to do it and he knew he could get away without it but he knew like a lot of things it would make his mother happy.

Colby made his way over the hill with the crumbled tomb stones to the newer part of the Winchester town cemetery. Little American flags fluttered over the graves of those who were veterans. Winchester had never been a town afraid to send its young men to fight so hundreds of little flags brought life and movement to the silent graves. Colby stopped in front of one. Not old but just old enough not to look fresh anymore.

“Hi Dad,” Colby started. “So Mom finally got me back here. She played dirty, talked to my father-in-law. Yeah, I’m married. Got a kid too. My other half is named Charlie and no that’s not short for Charlotte or anything, it’s short for Charles. So, yeah, I married a guy. Surprise, surprise. Surprised the hell out of me too but there’s no one else on earth like Charlie. I... He and Mom get along great. She even laughs at his jokes and I don’t even do that. I tell myself that you would like him; that you’d grump and grumble for a bit but accept us in the end. I tell myself that. Easier than telling myself the truth.”

Colby closed his eyes and ran his hand through his hair. The morning breeze was already heating up.

“I have a daughter. Esther. Well, technically she’s Charlie’s daughter but... She’s a Granger. She wants to serve. She’s scaring the living hell out of me every damn day. She’s fifteen and all I can see... God, all I can see is a nameless star on a wall ‘cause that’s all she would get. We didn’t plan her and she’s right. We didn’t give her ballet lessons. We gave her hand to hand combat and let people like Ian Edgerton teach her how to hunt and track and shoot and kill. What the hell did we expect would happen? Maybe she’ll go to college and discover she really wants to be an actress or something. I can pray for that.”

Colby looked around. There was a small family about fifteen graves up the row laying down flowers.

“All the things you taught me Dad, you missed a few things, a few really important things. I did what I was supposed to do. I was a soldier, I served my country, I received a commendation. You told me about honor and service and duty but you left out a few things. You left out what a skull sounds like when a bullet hits it. That cracking sound. And you never mentioned what flesh smells like when it’s burning. Frank’s youngest just got back from his first 18 months and he ain’t in one piece either. And what the hell were you thinking?”

Colby had to suddenly wipe his eyes.

“If you did it on purpose, if you took that drive on purpose I can almost, just almost understand but it’s the not knowing. No note. Nothing and _Frank’s_ been trying to pick up the slack for years and people wonder why I left and didn’t come back.”

Colby took a few deep breaths and stared at the grass.

“Don’t worry about me though, I’m fine. I got people looking out for me. Alan, he’s my father-in-law, he’s a good man. He’s been looking out for me even before Charlie and I were together. Anyone who can’t make it home for Thanksgiving is welcome at the Eppes table. That’s just the kinda guy he is. He gave me his blessing as a son. Said it was old magic, kept things working. Of course he’d just had a heart attack when he said that but... Still. I have family. I have my _own_ family. Charlie and Esther, Alan, Don and Becca and Aaron, Megan, Larry, even Ian. So don’t worry about me living in Sodom and Gomorrah. I’m happy, I’m fine. My life is a good one. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, anything at all. I wish you could have found that, Dad. Something to make your life... If it wasn’t Mom and us kids what would have done it? What would have made you keep going?”

Colby let out a long sigh.

“Well, anyways, happy 4th of July.”

~

Charlie looked at the milling crowd. There were even more people than their first night. According to Colby 4th of July lunch was the thing everyone _had_ to come to. It would start around 11 and would usually drag out until 6 at which point everyone would migrate into town to the big party and to watch the town fireworks.

The long table that had been dragged out to the back yard was filled with food. By the looks of things it was also an opportunity for every Granger household to clear out their fridge and freezer. A lot of the dishes on the table looked like the kinds of things made with that ham that had been sitting in the freezer for four months and the excess dry pasta that was taking up too much space in the cupboard.

The grill had also been lit up again but just for hot dogs and one of the younger members of the family was being allowed to tend it.

Charlie had grabbed a plate of food and squirreled himself away from the main crowd so he could watch people without being in the thick of things. Try as he might he knew he would never be great in social situations. Colby and Mary Jo were talking about something over by the grill and Esther and Andrew were chatting by the large tree. Charlie was glad that Esther had made a friend. She might growl about being held back but Charlie knew she was already more self confident, better adjusted and had more friends than he did at the same age.

Charlie was picking the watermelon bits out of some fruit salad when much to his surprise Frank Granger sat down next to him. The two of them had not traded more than a handful of polite greetings all weekend and Charlie had simply filed him away as the disapproving brother.

“Looks like those two have taken a bit of a shine to each other.” Frank said with no preamble gesturing to Esther and Andrew.

“Well I’m always glad to see Esther make friends. She can be a bit confrontational. Takes after her mother that way. God that woman could fight about anything.” Charlie mumbled a bit to himself at the end.

“Ex-wife?”

Charlie inhaled a piece of watermelon and went into a coughing fit not helped by Frank slapping him on the back.

“What did you just say?” Charlie finally squeaked out once the worst had passed.

“Just asking about your girl’s mother. Your ex?”

Charlie frantically shook his head. “Oh, fuck no. No, no, no, no. God, no. I would not marry that woman if she was the last sentient creature in the solar system. I would say I wouldn’t touch her with a ten foot pole but obviously I did. No, no. Combination of a long day, a boring party, a stupid fight and way, way too much alcohol. Nine months and a week later I’ve got a baby, a note and a birth certificate with my name on it.”

“And you didn’t fight it?” Frank asked.

“Nah, just freaked out for a few weeks. I mean I wasn’t looking to have a kid but I wasn’t completely against the idea. Esther’s mother obviously was and it wasn’t like I was about to throw her into the system.” Charlie took a little sip of beer. “Actually Colby was my saving grace. Any normal guy would have run screaming into the night, Colby just picked her up and fell in love. Diapers, feedings, colic, all of it, he just went with the flow. She cut her teeth on his knuckles; was calling him daddy weeks before she’d call me that.” Charlie took a slightly larger sip of beer. “I mean genetics are genetics but at the end of the day she’s daddy’s little girl and that ain’t me.”

Frank nodded and took a pull of his own beer. “I know what you mean. Andrew’s a lot like his mother. Looks like me but he got her brains. He thinks too much, always has, just stares into space, thinking.”

“Trust me, it’s not thinking too much until he locks himself in a garage for three months trying to solve a problem that doesn’t actually have an answer. That’s thinking too much.”

Frank just grunted a little and sipped his beer. Charlie went back to his fruit salad.

“Your girl’s a good shot.” Frank said suddenly.

“Yeah.” Charlie dragged the word out. “She used to hate guns. Or at least not like them much.”

“What happened?”

Charlie realized that Frank was making a considered effort to make conversation.

“Cromwell brothers.”

“Who?”

Charlie took a large gulp of his beer. “Couple of brats I got in a fight with when I was eight. Flash forward thirty plus years and they’ve set themselves up as minor crime bosses and decided take out a hit on the whole family. We intercepted their messages but we couldn’t decode them for months. Esther was the one who broke the code. She decoded her own kill order.”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.” Charlie stabbed at a bit of melon with a bit more force than strictly necessary. “She had nightmares for months. We took her to a therapist but she’s got an IQ of 190, reads everything, and has a nearly photographic memory for anything she’s read. The guy didn’t stand a chance, she ran circles around him. Not that I was any easier on my shrink at that age.”

“Well she seems to be okay.”

Charlie shrugged. “Ian finally took her out to the range and let her shoot at things until she got blisters on her hands. I guess it was cathartic.”

Frank nodded. “When we were all still kids Old Mad Towler’s wife went missing. He told everyone she’d run off with someone else. Months later they found her in his freezer. People still talk about that. They had to put a special fresh lock on the cell door at the police station ‘cause everyone in town knew how to jimmy it open but that was okay ‘cause the only people who were ever in there were drunks.”

Charlie chuckled and drained his beer. “I was born and raised in LA. We all drive hybrids or electrics and the air is still terrible. The water tastes kind of funny. Every decade or so there are riots. Every year there are wildfires. Million dollar houses burn to the ground. We’re way over due for another major earthquake. The Dodgers haven’t had a good season in a decade. And despite a _personal_ arrest record of 97.2% and a 94.9% conviction rate, children still shoot children in the street.”

“Not exactly the kind of place to raise a kid.”

“I don’t know, Frank. Maybe, maybe not but we did it anyways. We figured as long as she knew who her family was and knew they’d be there for her that in the end she’d be okay.”

~

Esther was beginning to worry about Andy. They’d gotten some food and found a quiet spot. Andy had even gotten a beer. Apparently the rule in the Granger household was that if you are old enough to kill someone you are old enough to drink.

Andy had kept close most of the day. There had fortunately been no repeat of his attempted romantic overtures but Esther couldn’t help feeling that he was being perhaps a little clingy. It was not something she was used to, people actually wanting to be around her.

The conversation had turned at some point to matters of faith. Again it was something unusual for Esther. Her family accepted or at least tolerated her faith but it was not something talked about much.

“What do you pray for?” Andy finally asked his eyes again focused at some point over her should.

Esther just shrugged. “Don’t know, depends how hard the test is.”

Andy chuckled weakly.

“You must pray for things.”

“Not really.”

“Really?”

“I guess I more have more one sided conversations than anything else. Debates, diatribes, bitch sessions. Let’s face it I could very well be talking to myself. I don’t pray for things and I don’t expect things. I was raised to believe in science and rationality as strongly as anything else. More so really. I mean if I woke up in the middle of the night to a blinding light and a great booming voice saying ‘Ehyeh asher ehyeh’ the first thing I’d do is check for speakers and a lighting rig.”

“But you have faith?”

Esther plucked a bit of grass and twirled it in her fingers. “And yet I have faith. And yet I pray.”

Andy tilted his head back staring into the thick leaves of the tree. “They pray a lot in Afghanistan. I mean a lot.”

“I’m not surprised.”

“We had this interpreter. Aamer. I asked him once what he prayed for. I mean he prayed five times a day. He told me he prayed for his mother’s arthritis to get better. We were under almost daily attack. It hadn’t rained more than a drizzle in almost two years. People were starving and dying and he was praying for his mother’s arthritis.”

Esther became still. Andy’s voice had developed an odd high crack in it.

“Arthritis. He said he didn’t want to bother the almighty too much but it was for his mother. Then there was Isaac. He prayed. Prayed for luck. Same words over and over. And we gave him so much shit. And he was short.” Andy whispered.

Esther gently took Andy’s hand but he didn’t look at her.

“And our CO was always telling us. ‘Men, think of the people back home praying for you.’ That’s what he would say. All the people here praying for us there.” Andy’s eyes slowly closed. “I can’t go back.” Andy’s voice cracked. “Isaac was always praying and... I can’t go back.”

“I don’t think you have a lot of choice, Andy.” Esther pointed out as gently as she could. Something was squeezing tight in her chest. It wasn’t a feeling she was used to.

Andy shook his head. “I...”

There was a bang.

In a split second Esther found herself face down in the grass Andy covering her. Her heart was racing and she could actually feel the beat of Andy’s heart against her. There was another bang, then pops and crackles and children laughing.

“It’s just fireworks.” Esther wiggled herself out from under her would-be-protector. Andy was still pressing himself to the earth. With each bang and pop he jumped. Esther grabbed his face and turned it towards her. “Hey, you, listen to me. Fireworks. Just Fireworks. Toys okay?”

Andy squeezed his eyes shut tight. “I can’t go back.” He whispered then jumped up and ran to the house.

“Shit.”

Esther chased after taking a detour past her father. “Dad, I think we’ve got a problem.” She said quickly before continuing after Andy.

Esther found him in the living room a half packed duffle over his shoulder. Colby was right behind her.

“Where do you think you’re going?” Esther cringed a little internally at how much she sounded like her father in that moment.

“Where’s my gun?”

“Someplace safe. You can’t have it. Where are you going?”

Andy just turned away and headed out the front making a line for his truck. “North. I can make it to Canada by the end of the day.”

“You’re talking about desertion.” Colby said.

Andy stopped by his truck. “Yeah, I guess.”

Esther quickly put herself between Andy and his truck. “This isn’t 1970. Canada extradites and what you’re talking about gets you prison time. Nasty military prison time.”

“I don’t care.” Andy shouted. “I can’t...” He wiped his eyes. “All the praying doesn’t work.” Esther took a quick look over Andy’s shoulder, along with her dad, Frank, her father and grandmother had shown up. Well at least she’d have help if they just ended up needing to tackle Andy and tie him up for a bit.

“I’m sure there are people you can talk to...”

Andy made a move towards his truck but Esther was pretty quick on her feet as well and managed to stay between him and it. She tried to go for a different tact.

“What happened to Isaac?” She asked. Andy froze. “He was your friend, wasn’t he? What happened to him?” Andy made another quick move towards his truck. “No. Not until you tell me what happened to Isaac.” Andy’s eyes squeezed shut. “What happened?”

“He... the area was supposed to be clear. They told us...” Andy started shaking. He dropped the keys to his truck.

“What happened?”

“It was dark and so loud and... There was nothing left. It was like shrapnel.” Andy ran a hand over his arm. “The doctors pulled bits of his skull out of me like shrapnel and they gave me a medal for it and that thing of his just keeps going around my head and I don’t know the words...”

Andy pressed his hands to his ears squeezing his eyes shut. Esther’s stomach lurched. She saw her dad and uncle begin to move forward but motioned them to stop. She carefully reached out and pulled his hands away. “It’s called Kaddish.” Andy opened his eyes and looked at her through tears. “It’s not for luck, really. It’s used. Well it’s used in a lot of places. It’s also called the mourners prayer. Ten men of Isaac’s family would have gathered together, after, to recite if for him.” Esther had no clue if that was actually true but Andy wouldn’t have a clue either.

“Why would he..?”

“I don’t know. It’s not about death at all. It... exalts the almighty, praises his name. Maybe it was for luck. Maybe he was just making sure he was in good with someone.”

Andy’s head dropped in defeat, his shoulders shaking.

“I can teach it to you. It’s not hard. Really.”

“I can’t go back there.” Andy whispered.

“Okay.” Esther said as calmly as she could despite her heart racing. “But you can’t leave tonight.” Esther added hoping that if she could get Andy to hold off ‘till morning it would give other people time to talk to him.

“Why not?” Andy asked.

_ ‘Shit.’ _

“Because...” Esther’s brain quickly scrambled for a good answer then defaulted a bit to spoiled brat. She put her hands on her hips “Because you promised me you’d take me to that party and I already got dumped by my prom date and I will be damned if I’m going to some Hicksville barn dance alone just because you’re having a freak out.” She stamped her foot a little for emphasis and/or comedy. She didn’t care which one got through.

Andy suddenly looked guilty which was a major step up from depressed, possibly verging on suicidal. “Oh.”

There was sudden loud and rather unhappy throat clearing. Esther looked up and Andy whipped around. Emily had her hands on her hips a scowl on her face.

“Andrew Bartholomew Granger did you ask Esther to the 4th of July dance?”

Andy’s shoulders hunched in under the assault of the full name and he quickly wiped his eyes. “Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled.

“Did you ask her father’s permission first?”

Andy curled in on himself even more. “No, ma’am.”

“And, were you intending on leaving and leaving her without an escort to the dance after asking her in the first place?”

Andy was turning some rather special shades of red. He gave a tiny shrug.

Esther was impressed. Three questions and Andy had gone from traumatized soldier to little boy with hand in cookie jar. That was seriously leet powers of psychological manipulation. She felt like she should be taking notes. Emily folded her arms and gave Andy a Look.

“Sorry.” He whispered his shoe twisting in the driveway dust has he crumbled under the disapproving looks of his grandmother and uncle. Frank on the other hand was looking oddly confused.

Emily gave a small nod. “Do you have something you want to ask your Uncle Colby? _Now_.”

Andy turned to Colby his shoulders still hunched. He managed to ever so slightly raise his eyes. “Sir, could I possibly, maybe, have permission to escort Miss. Eppes to the dance?” He managed to stutter out his face still a flaming shade of red.

Colby was silent for a long time then he folded his arms. “Ask her father.”

Andy turned to Charlie. Esther recognized the cold look on her father’s face. She had seen it a few times but mainly on the face of her Uncle Don.

Andy cleared his throat. “Mr. Eppes...”

“_Doctor_ Eppes.”

Andy took a half step back. “Doctor Eppes. Could... Could I have permission to escort Miss. Eppes to the dance this evening?”

Charlie squinted silently at Andy for a long time before turning to Esther. “Sweetie, how badly could you hurt him?” He asked.

“What?” Esther wasn’t sure if she heard right.

“We’ve given you nine years of Krav Maga. How badly could you hurt him? In detail.”

“Uh...” Esther shrugged a bit. “I could probably crush his windpipe with a good hit. Maybe crack his skull at the temple. Do damage to major joints. Break his nose. Maybe collapse a lung if I got some leverage. Crack some vertebrae if I had a step stool and a running start.”

Charlie nodded and looked at Andy. “All those things she just said, if you behave in a manner even marginally inappropriate, that is what you will be praying for in comparison to the hell I will arrange to have rained down up on your very soul.” Andy swallowed hard. “She is fifteen. You may _escort_ her to this dance. That is all. Am I clear?”

Andy nodded quickly having shifted from bright red to dead white. “Yes, sir.” He choked out.

“Well that’s settled.” Emily stated pleasantly but firmly. “Now do you have anything nice to wear?”

“Uh...” Andy’s brain obviously wasn’t up for shifting gears that fast.

“You can wear your dress uniform. It will look very nice. Come along, I’ll help you iron.” Emily took her grandson’s arm in a firm grip and escorted him quickly back into the house.

Esther let out a long breath. “Shit, dad. The poor guy’s verging on a break down. Could you have brought a little less of the scary?”

“You are fifteen and I love you very much. He touches you and he won’t have to worry about Afghanistan ‘cause I’ll cripple him myself.”

“He didn’t tell me.” Everyone turned to Frank who hadn’t said anything. Now his face was knotted with confusion and worry.

“Didn’t tell you want, Frank?” Colby asked.

“That he was injured. He didn’t tell me. I’m his father.”

“He probably didn’t want you to worry.”

“But I’m his father.” Frank repeated.

“I didn’t tell Mom when I got injured.”

“You were injured? In Afghanistan?”

Colby sighed. “Yes Frank, got the Purple Heart to prove it.”

“What happened?”

“Humvee got hit. Got trapped inside. Buddy pulled me out but I got a little cooked in the process.”

Esther could hear the wheels turning in Frank’s head. She could also smell a bit of smoke coming from them.

“Look, Frank, I know this is a really, really foreign concept in this family but he’s your son, go talk to him and _listen_ to what he has to say and tell him the truth, don’t just repeat back the same shit Dad fed us. If you don’t have an answer, or a good one just tell him that.” Frank nodded and slowly made his way into the house himself.

As soon as Frank was gone Esther found herself under the scrutiny of her fathers. “And as for you young lady.” Esther rolled her eyes. “That was gutsy.”

“Well I couldn’t let him go AWOL, get himself arrested. Would have been a bit of a blot on the whole seven generations of duty and honor thing.”

“And did you have a back up plan if throwing a tantrum didn’t work?” Charlie asked.

“Sort of.”

“And it was?”

“It mainly involved hitting him over the head and keeping him tied up in the kitchen.” It was Charlie’s turn to roll his eyes. “Well I was still working on the finer details.”

“And I can’t believe you let him ask you to the 4th of July dance without telling us.” Colby suddenly cut in.

“I didn’t know it was that big a deal.”

“It’s the highlight of the Winchester social calendar.”

“Oh, silly me.”

“Why do you think I told you to bring a nice dress?”

“I don’t know, Dad. This whole place is really weird. I’ve just been trying to go with the flow.”

“Well at the very least he should have known better.”

“Yeah, I kind of gathered that.”

Colby rubbed his face. “Okay, hand me his keys.” Esther picked up the dropped keys and tossed them to her father. “I’ll keep these, you and your dad should probably head back around back before people start asking questions. I’m going to go make sure Frank doesn’t put his foot in his mouth or anyone else’s.”

~

Esther was trying not to worry about Andy and focus on her macaroni salad when her father sat down next to her. He had that ‘we need to talk’ look on his face.

“So dad, I’m thinking next summer we forgo Idaho and maybe consider... Fiji. I can do a bit of study into Polynesian language groups.”

Charlie sighed. “We need to talk.”

Esther groaned. “I’m not interested in Andy I swear, dad already had this talk.”

“Okay, we’re still going to talk. I realized I never had the talk with you.”

“I know were babies come from, really.”

“Don’t be a smart ass.”

“Too late.”

“You are about to go off to college so I am going to tell you a cautionary tale from my own university days and this will fall under the category of do as I say not as I did.”

Esther gave up. There was no stopping some parents. “Okay. Go ahead.”

“This is the story of the first time I got really drunk.”

“I don’t plan to drink.”

“Shut up and listen.”

Esther jerked as if she’d been struck. Her dad never said things like that. He preferred to reason and/or argue with her.

“Now your father does not know this story, neither does your grandfather, your uncle Don or really anyone else.”

“Okay.” Now Esther was curious. She rather hoped puking in a gutter was going to feature somewhere in the next few minutes.

“When I was fifteen, at Princeton, there was a professor. Her name was Julia. She was tall, blond, athletic, brilliant and I was in her multi-dimensional geometry class. I started making up excuses to go to her office because like any fifteen year old boy I was mainly thinking about one thing and it wasn’t math.”

Esther cringed. “Is this story going to completely traumatize me?”

“Possibly, yes. Anyways I thought that if I could dazzle her with some brilliant piece of math I could somehow get a 29 year old, married, tenured professor interested in me. Unfortunately I succeeded.”

Esther couldn’t help her jaw dropping.

“And for the record yes, it was grossly illegal. Not that I thought about it that way, everyone I knew was an adult and I was fifteen and an idiot. After about four months of semi regular carrying on I looked at her one day and being fifteen and an idiot ask her if she’d put on weight.” Esther snorted. “Well she starts crying and I freak out and announce that I forgot that I had somewhere else to be, grab my pants, and run for it.” Esther started getting a feeling about where this story was headed. “Jump ahead six months, I am now sixteen and I am sitting in a little courtyard at the Princeton teaching hospital more terrified than I have ever been in my entire life. Julia’s husband sits down next to me and hands me a bottle in a paper bag. I tell him I’m not old enough to drink. He tells me that if I’m old enough to screw his wife I’m old enough to drunk.”

“Ouch.”

“Well I take a drink and it burns and I choke and cry and I take another drink and another because I am sure that my life is about to go to hell in a hand basket. Because upstairs is a baby. And the father of the baby is not Julia’s husband and that was pretty obvious seeing as how he was African American and the baby most certainly wasn’t.”

“It was yours? I have a brother? Sister?”

“No. Sorry. It wasn’t mine. But I didn’t know that at the time. I was sitting down there because I was waiting on the blood tests. I was reasonably sloshed by the time Larry came down with the news.”

“How did Uncle Larry know?”

“Well he was also on the list of possible fathers.”

Esther covered her eyes. “Wait. So this woman was doing you, illegally, Uncle Larry, _and_ her husband?”

“And one other guy. A visiting Norwegian physicist named Sphen or something.”

“Wow.”

“Sphen turned out to be the father. By the time I found that out I had gotten halfway through a bottle whiskey then proceeded to get violently ill in the landscaping.”

Esther nodded a couple of times. “And the exact moral of this story is?”

“There are several. The big one is just because you are a genius does not mean you are an adult. It is easy to forget that. It is easy for other people to forget that or to take advantage of the perception that you may be older than you are.”

“I won’t let Andy touch me.”

“I’m not just talking about Andrew. You are going to college. The next oldest person is going to be eighteen. My mother was living with me and I still managed to get into trouble. You’re going to be in the dorms, on your own. You are going to be surrounded by adults and adult situations but just because you are there does not mean you are ready for them. Your father and I won’t be there to tell you no. You need to be able to tell yourself no and other people no.”

“I’ll be okay, Dad.”

“Forgive me if I don’t take your word for it right off. The other morals of that story are, don’t get involved with married women, there is no such thing as 100% effective contraception, and never chug whiskey, especially on an empty stomach.”

~

Esther was once again in hell. She did her absolute best to un-focus her eyes as Katie shimmied out of her jeans then pulled a blue, cotton, wrap around summer dress from her bag. They were so heading towards daytime talk show territory. Andy wanted her, she wanted Katie and Katie’s boyfriend back in Boston was the child of Iranian political refugees and had not had the guts to face Winchester, Idaho despite Grandma Emily’s invitation. Throw on the fact that technically she, Andy and Katie were cousins and the whole thing was just made for TV.

“Can you zip me up?”

Esther blinked. “What?”

“Can you get my zipper?” Katie asked.

“Yeah, sure.” Esther quickly zipped up the blue dress being very careful not to touch skin. For the first time in months she found herself actually missing Caitlyn and her pompoms. Esther consoled herself with the fact that Caitlyn had at least had the good grace to dump her before she dropped a grand on a prom dress.

“So, what are you wearing?”

Esther opened the dress bag she had dragged all the way from California. Her dad had told her to bring a nice summer dress for an evening party. He’d even told her she could spend some money on it. She had found a dress of red brown silk, corseted with a circle skirt like a 50’s hostess dress. Strapless it came with a matching shawl of the same fabric. The unusual bit was the heavy gold embroidery that wrapped around the hips and down one side of the skirt. Esther knew it was horribly trendy and would be so out in six months but some rising star had gone down the red carpet at the Oscars in a dress re-cut from a couple of wedding saris with all the embroidery kept intact and repositioned. As a result silk and metal embroidery were very in.

Katie reached out and touched the dress lightly. “Wow.”

“Brown is actually one of the few colors I look good in. Yellow and green make me look sick. Red and orange make me look sun burnt. I look boring in blue. No one wears white. I look like a failed Goth in black. And purple is just making some kind of statement. So, brown.”

“I’m sure you look fine in other colors.”

Esther took the dress from the bag shaking it out a bit. “I wouldn’t know. I had to beg one of my baby sitters to teach me how to put on make-up and my Uncle Ian taught me how to walk in high heels.” She held the dress up to herself. “Well?”

“There’s only one dress shop in Winchester and I can guarantee they’re not carrying anything like that.”

“Oh good. Hate to turn up to a party and find someone in the same dress.”

Katie laughed her high sweet laugh. “Come on, get undressed, we don’t have much more time.”

Esther closed her eyes for just a moment and cursed the universe for having a sick sense of humor.

~

Colby smoothed down Charlie’s shirt. It was too hot to go for a tie and the unspoken rule was once you had your own children you could show up a little less polished, but for Winchester the 4th was the day to spruce up a little, come together, and have a good time. Of course if you were between the age of 15 and 30 it was also a time to find someone to dance close with then maybe sneak away with into Make Out Grove before the fireworks started.

Andrew came out into the living room along with Emily who had put on a fresh summer dress herself. Colby looked Andrew over. He was obviously dressed for inspection from the shiny shoes to the fresh shave. He also looked a bit more relaxed. Maybe not completely in one piece but he didn’t look like he was about to take a runner. Maybe what they had seen would be the worst of it.

Colby went to the main hall. “Esther!” He shouted down. “Hurry up.”

That was another thing Colby could blame Ian for. He and Charlie had dressed Esther in coveralls and t-shirts shirts when she was little. Things she could run around and get dirty in. Ian had given her a frilly light yellow dress for her third birthday. They put it on her to be polite and she refused to take it off. She still ran around and got dirty, she just insisted on doing it in satin and lace for much of her childhood after that. Now as a teenager she took slightly better care of the dresses but could take forever picking one and getting ready. For a girl raised in a family of predominantly men she’d somehow ended up quite girly.

Mary Jo joined Colby in the hallway. “Katie! Hurry up!”

A couple of female voices shouted something back down the hall at them but it was muffled by the closed door. Colby could hear his mother snickering.

“Ah, grandchildren are truly the finest form of revenge.” Emily mused aloud.

Colby went back to the living room to wait. Just as he was about to go and knock on doors Katie and Esther showed up. Colby looked at Esther’s dress. “I said a summer dress, sweetie.”

Esther looked down at herself. “It’s from the summer catalogue.”

“You both look very nice.” Emily said.

Colby couldn’t argue with that. Esther did look very nice. She looked all grown up in fact. He wondered to himself what exactly it would take for coveralls to become the hot LA fashion trend.

“You look very nice.” Andrew echoed shyly. Esther smiled.

Colby looked Andrew over again. He was looking less twitterpated and more heart broken.

Frank clapped his hands. “All right. Let’s get going.”

“Just a second.” Emily picked up a camera. “We need pictures.” There was eye rolling from all of her assorted children and grandchildren but no one argued. Andrew offered his arm to Esther and they stood politely for pictures, Andrew in his dress uniform and Esther in her Hollywood high fashion.

Then Charlie and Colby had to stand for pictures, then all the Granger children, then just the grand children, then finally Frank put his hand on the camera. “Mom, that’s enough. Let’s go.”

~

It was still dusk but the park was lit up with strings of lights running from tree to tree. A band on stage was fiddling away and people were already on the makeshift dance floor. A long grill on the other end of the park was steadily turning out hotdogs and children were running around, many with lit sparklers.

Andrew’s arm was secure in hers. It was perhaps a bit of a debate as to who was escorting whom. Andrew seemed a bit more stable but Esther had a theory that it was a Pavlovian reaction to being back in uniform.

“This is nice.” A little girl ran by with a sparkler, laughing. “I want a sparkler. I haven’t had a sparkler in ages.”

“Don’t you have sparklers in California?” Andrew asked.

“Most fireworks are illegal. Usually by the time July rolls around you can rub two sticks together and accidentally burn down half the state.” Another kid went by with a sparkler. “That looks like so much fun.”

“I’ll see if I can’t find you one.”

Esther looked up from watching the kids run around to see a woman in a yellow dress heading their way. If Katie was a perfect ten then this woman was working on a whole different scale. Her hair was golden, almost the same shade as her dress. The dress clung to her perfect figure in all the right ways. Her lips were softly red and her skin unblemished cream. Esther felt her brain completely shut down and as the woman got closer she just knew she was going to make a complete idiot out of herself.

“Andy?” The woman’s voice was soft and musical.

“Hi, Vicky.”

Andy let go of Esther’s arm as the woman in yellow threw her arms around him. “Oh my god. I didn’t know you were back. Are you back?”

“I redeploy in a few weeks.”

Vicky took a half step back and looked Andy over. “I’ve never seen you in uniform. You look so handsome.”

“Thank you. You look nice, yourself.” Esther suddenly found herself the focus of almost unnaturally blue eyes. “This is my cousin, Esther. Up from California.”

Esther held out her hand. “Hi.”

_ ‘An IQ of 190 and ‘hi’ is all you can come up with?’_ Esther screamed at herself.

Vicky took her hand. Her skin was smooth and perfect. “It’s nice to meet you.”

Esther just smiled and nodded.

_ ‘Nine major language groups and you say nothing!’ _

“How’s Jacob?” Andy asked in a perfectly polite tone.

Vicky shrugged. “He’s Jacob. You know.”

“Yes.”

Esther took Andy’s arm again, to help her stay on her feet if nothing else.

“He’ll be so glad to know you’re back in town. Everyone will.”

Esther felt Andy squeeze her arm a little. “It’ll be nice to see everyone.”

“Well, I have to meet my folks. Save a dance for me.”

“Of course.”

“It was nice to meet you.” Vicky said to Esther. Esther just smiled and nodded so more as Vicky left.

Once she was out of sight Esther found her voice. “Is that the one you told not to wait for you?”

“Yes.”

“Bug girl?”

“Yes.”

“Are you a fucking idiot?”

Andy’s laugh was slightly manic. “Possibly, yes.”

“Holy, shit. Seriously. Is it the potatoes? Is there something in the potatoes, ‘cause I swear I could sign half the women in this town to modelling contracts tomorrow.”

“I guess they’re okay.”

“You guess...” Esther put her face in her hand.

“I think you’re more interesting.”

Esther sighed. “Come on soldier boy, let’s hit the dance floor and see if we can’t find both of us a good Winchester girl tonight.”

~

Charlie accepted a hotdog and a red cup of soda from Colby. They’d managed to get a spot at a picnic table where they could keep an eye on the dance floor. He watched as Andrew attempted to teach Esther how to polka. A very large part of him had wanted to tell the boy no but the memory of Esther sitting at home watching TV on prom night acting like she didn’t care was still very fresh. He couldn’t bring himself to completely destroy one of her few chances to put on a pretty dress and go to a dance with a handsome boy. Of course it was going to happen under his supervision.

“How are they doing?” Colby asked.

“Esther is proving surprisingly uncoordinated when it comes to the polka.” Charlie took a sip of his soda. It burned.

“Yeah, this is only an alcohol free event in the sense that you don’t directly see any of the alcohol.”

Charlie raised his cup. “Well cheers to that.”

~

Esther was trying her best to keep time but after almost an hour the subtleties of polka still eluded her. Part of the problem was a distraction called Vicky. She kept dancing by in the arms of some guy who looked liked he’d have a hard time finding Afghanistan on a map. After bumping into some people the guy wandered off the dance floor leaving Vicky without a partner. Esther quickly spun Andrew around. “Look, Vicky needs a dance partner.” Before Andrew could comment she gave him a push in Vicky’s direction and ran off the dance floor herself.

Esther didn’t realize just how tired she was until she collapsed on one the benches encircling the dance floor.

She was still catching her breath when a girl in a red dress sat down next to her. The girl looked about Esther’s age and Esther though she might be one of the girls from the ice cream parlor.

“Hi,” the girl said.

“Hi.”

“You’re the girl from California, aren’t you?”

Esther tried to smile pleasantly. “Yes, yes I am.”

“Is that your boy friend?” The girl asked gesturing to Andy.

Esther laughed. “No. He’s my cousin. I needed an escort and he needed a wing man.”

The girl held out her hand. “I’m Lisa.”

Esther took Lisa’s hand. It was warm and soft. “I’m Esther.”

“Nice to meet you. That’s an amazing dress. Where did you get it?”

Esther looked down at herself. The dress was nice. She wouldn’t call it amazing. “Veronica’s. It’s a boutique a bit off Sunset.” Esther looked Lisa over. Her dress was deep red with spaghetti straps and a full skirt. “I like your dress.”

Lisa just shrugged a little, looking down at her own dress. “It’s just from Becky’s dress shop like everyone else’s.”

“It looks good to me.”

Lisa very carefully touched some of the embroidery along Esther’s skirt. “I really like this dress.”

~

Colby jumped a bit a Frank plopped down next to him. He’d obviously gotten well into the whiskey and soda. “Hey, Colby.” Frank slurred a bit.

“Hey, Frank.”

“Guess what I just saw?”

“A fuchsia unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun.”

Frank looked supremely confused for a couple of moments. “No.”

“Then I don’t know what you saw, Frank.”

“Saw your girl heading towards the trees.”

Colby’s head snapped to the dance floor. Andrew was easy to spot with some girl in yellow but there was no Esther. He looked to the grill where Charlie had gone to fetch them some hotdogs. “Frank, stay here and wait for Charlie.”

Colby didn’t even wait for an answer, just got up and headed to the trees. Officially the grove was named after some guy that had died a hundred and fifty years before. Unofficially is was called Make Out Grove because probably more that half the town had, had their first kiss against one of the large, dark oaks. Possibly half the town had been conceived against the large dark trees.

Colby checked every tree startling teenagers from their lust. Pretty soon he found himself heading away from neatly planted grove towards the wilder bit. The light and the music from the dance began to fade. Then Colby came around a corner and froze.

Over the years being Esther’s father had provided him with many uncomfortable situations. The first attempt at a stranger danger and bad touch talk had been so painful they let Megan do it in the end. The ‘where do babies come from’ talk had been bad since Esther knew full well where babies came from and was being purposely obtuse just to torture her fathers. The ‘why don’t I have a mommy’ talk had been hard. The talk a few years later when Esther found out she had been lied to had been worse. And the day Colby found tampons penciled in at the bottom of the shopping list had been one where he sort of wanted to die from embarrassment.

None of those moments held a candle to what Colby was seeing, which was his dear, sweet, innocent, baby girl quite forcefully pinning a blond in a red dress against a tree. The other girl did not seem to be minding the fact that Esther had one hand knotted in her hair and her other hand under the dark red skirt. There was copious moaning.

Colby cleared his throat. Esther whipped around into a fighting stance putting herself between Colby and the blond.

“Sweetie.”

Esther didn’t lower her stance. “Hey, Dad.”

“Do we need to have a talk?”

“I like girls.” She said flatly.

Colby nodded slowly. “Okay. That’s fine. However you do not get to make out with people you just met in the woods at night. This is how horror movies and homicide investigations start.”

“I...” The girl in red squeaked a little. “I should go.”

Esther slipped out of her fighting stance as the girl started to edge back in the direction of the dance. “Hey, call me.” Esther flashed her a little smile.

Colby groaned. He knew that smile. That exact smile and that exact way of saying those three words. He knew them from hanging out in bars with Don during their mutual single days. That quick little smile and twitch of the head was 100% classic Don Eppes. It was something Colby never expected or wanted to see from his daughter.

Colby couldn’t tell in the dark but he’d bet money the girl blushed before scurrying off.

Esther turned back to her father, folding her arms. “Well?”

“Did you at least get her name?”

“Lisa.”

“Last name?”

“I was working up to it.” There was silence for about half a minute. “Are you going to tell Dad?”

“Do you want me to?”

Esther shrugged. “Guess it doesn’t matter.”

Colby could feel his right eye begin to twitch. “Fine. But you are going back to the party and you will stay within line of sight, young lady.”

There was exaggerated eye rolling and a sulking march back out of the grove.

Charlie was waiting for them. Esther walked right past her father back towards the dance floor. “Frank told me what was going on? Who was she with?”

“The blonde.”

Charlie looked around. “Which one?”

“In the red dress.”

Charlie became very still for a long time “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

Charlie took a sip of his drink. “Well... I guess we don’t have to worry about her getting pregnant.” Colby cracked up and Charlie followed. “Oh, god. That explains so much.” Charlie croaked out between fits of giggles.

“I know.”

“The whole James Bond thing. She just wants Bond girls.”

That comment sent Colby into another fit of giggles. “Oh god I need a drink. Let’s go find Frank. He’s got to be holding.”

~

Esther sat down next to Andy who was resting his feet a bit. “Where’d you get off to?” He asked.

“Oh, was just getting a quick tour of Make Out Grove and unfortunately didn’t get close to getting off before Dad showed up. How are you holding up?”

“Jacob is probably going to ask Vicky to marry him.”

“I’m sorry. He looks like an idiot.”

“He is.” Andy looked quietly at his hands. “They’re going to shoot off the fireworks soon. The launch them from the football field.”

Esther took Andy’s hand and gave is a squeeze. “I’ll be here.”

The band started a slow song. Andy stood up. “Can I have this dance?” Esther looked across the dance floor. Lisa was being pushed into the arms of some skinny teenaged guy by a couple of other girls. Esther took Andy’s hand. “Sure.”

Andy put his arms around her as they swayed to the sound of the soft fiddle on stage.

“Will you teach me that thing of Isaac’s?” Andy asked softly under the music.

“Sure. We’re here for a few more days. It’s not that hard. Comparatively.”

“Thank you.”

The two of them swayed quietly to the music. Esther found it surprisingly comfortable. Not that there was any sexual attraction but Andy was just a comfortable, platonic, physical presence against her.

The band wound down then started up the first chords of the Star Spangled Banner. There was a high pitched whistling and the sky above began to erupt in red, white and blue sparks. With each explosion Andy jumped.

Esther kept a death grip on him. “They’re just fireworks. Just keep watching. They’re just pretty fireworks. Grown up toys. That’s it.”

Three phosphorous white lines cut their way across the sky then erupted. Andy jerked, squeezing his eyes shut.

“Hey, look at the kids. Look at how much fun the kids are having.” Esther pointed to a small group of kids who were jumping up and down, laughing with glee.

Andy started to shake almost violently.

The Star Spangled Banner was almost at its end. A dozen trails of lights whipped across the sky. Andy pressed his face to Esther’s shoulder as the sky, for a moment, turned to fire with a dozen deafening bangs.

People whooped and cheered. Andy shook and Esther held him tight.

Once the last sparks had faded from the sky Esther gave him a little tough. “Come on. Let’s go sit down.”

~

Colby almost fell over as Frank’s arm fell heavy around his shoulders. Colby knew he’d had a few but Frank smelled like he’d fallen into vast of whiskey.

_ ‘Like father like son._’ Colby thought.

“Colby.” Frank slurred.

“Yes?” Colby sighed trying to push Frank’s arm off him.

“Was it something I did?”

“What?”

“Was it something I did? I mean after Dad died I tried to be there for you and Robbie.”

“I know, Frank.”

“...but I had to work, I had to help mom.” Frank’s voice was thick with emotion and he was still leaning heavily on Colby.

“I know you did.”

“Should I have spent more time with you? You seemed okay?”

Colby suddenly fought through his own alcohol to figure out what Frank was talking about. “Frank, look at me.” Frank’s eyes were unfocused. Colby patted his cheeks. “Frank, come on. Look at me. Focus.” Frank blinked, his eyes coming into focus. “Frank, it was nothing you did. It was nothing you didn’t do. It was nothing anyone did.

“But...”

“You want to know why I’m with Charlie?”

Frank gave a drunken nod.

“Here’s what happened. I met someone. They were brilliant. They were funny. They were remarkable and unique. They saved my life and demanded nothing in return. And I fell in love with them. And they happened to be in a male body. That’s all Frank. I met Charlie and slowly over many years and with a lot of friendship involved I fell in love.”

Franks face crumpled in thought.

“I’ve only ever been with one man, Frank, and fell in love with him and I married him and raised a daughter with him. Not in that order but we made it work.”

Frank still seemed to be thinking deep. Or perhaps had passed out on his feet.

“Hey, Mom always wanted one of us to marry a doctor. I took what I could get.”

Frank frowned then laughed a high drunken laugh and slapped Colby on the back.

“He’s a good man?”

“Yes. And he comes from a good family. All good people.”

Frank nodded heavily until his eyes closed and his head dropped. “I talked with my boy.” Frank mumbled softly.

“I know.”

“He never had nightmares when he was little. Even after his mother left. All the others would wake up crying but he never did. I thought he was okay. He never cried.”

Colby didn’t say anything. Anything he could say would either be criticizing Frank’s parenting or give a bleak outlook on Andrew’s mental health.

“Come on, Frank. Let’s find one of your brood to take you home.”

~

Esther still had her arm around Andy. He looked calm but she could feel him still twitching and trembling. People were milling around, finding each other, then fading away from the park.

Lisa walked by with a group of other girls. She turned and smiled at Esther. Esther smiled back.

Then her dad stumbled in front of them. Andy quickly straightened up. “Good evening, Dr. Eppes.”

“Hey.” Esther could tell by the way he was blinking that her dad had had a few. “Sweetie, your dad is pawning your uncle Frank off on somebody then we’re heading home.”

“Okay. Are you or dad okay to drive?”

“Nope.” Charlie pulled the keys to the rental out of his pocket and tossed them to her. “Time to put that learners permit to work Miss I’m So Grown Up I Can Make Out In The Woods With People I Just Met.”

“Really?”

“It’s six miles and one turn and you don’t even have to back the car out. You should be able to manage that.”

Esther was pretty sure that the rental agreement forbade her from driving the car and there was possibly something on her learners permit about driving at night. She didn’t mention either of these things. “Okay, no problem. Go find Dad and we’ll get out of here.”

~

Esther drove very, very carefully up the dirt driveway, stopped, and made sure the parking break was fully engaged before turning off the ignition. Then she turned to the back seat where her dads were kissing. “Cut it out you two. That’s traumatizing.”

Colby looked at her. “Sweetie, if anyone here got traumatized tonight it was me.”

Esther rolled her eyes as everyone started piling out of the car. She’d been making out with Lisa for maybe two minutes before her dad showed up. It wasn’t like they’d gotten naked or anything.

Andy offered his arm to walk her up to the porch. They stopped at the door. “You don’t get a kiss.”

Andy actually smiled a little. “I know.”

Everyone traipsed into the house and made their goodnights after that. Katie wasn’t back yet. She’d gone off to party with some old friends. Esther sat on the bed until the house sounded like it had quieted down then dug a brown bottle out of her toiletry bag and snuck down the hall.

Light was still creeping out from under Andy’s door. She knocked softly then pushed it open. Andy was sitting on his bed, still in uniform, staring into space. She sat down next to him.

“I know this is going to sound so unbelievably trite but things will feel a bit better in the morning.”

“How do you know?” Andy’s voice was small and tight.

“Because I’m really fucking smart, that’s how.” Andy smiled. “You need to sleep.”

“I know.”

“Think you will?”

“Probably not.”

Esther took out the prescription bottle and fished out a small purple tablet. With her fingernails she broke it in half. “Here. They’re my sleeping pills.” She put half a pill into Andy’s hand.

He looked at it. “I thought you said you can’t wake up with these.”

“That’s a quarter of a dose for me. You’re eight inches taller and built like a brick wall. That should just relax you enough to let you fall asleep. You’re tired enough that you’ll just sleep after that.”

“I’ll have nightmares.”

“I’ve had nightmares almost every night of my life for as long as I can remember, price of a genius brain. I learned really quick that nightmares can’t actually hurt you, where as sleep deprivation on the other hand turns you into a spaz that walks into door jambs and breaks teeth.” Andy smiled. Esther tapped her two front teeth. “Capped.”

Andy looked at the pill, laying tiny in his large hand then with a quick movement tossed it into his mouth and swallowed it dry. “How long should it take before that kicks in?”

“Pretty quick. I’d change into jammies if I were you.”

Andy took her hand. “Thank you. I mean, I’m falling apart, I think. You shouldn’t have to deal with this. Take care of me.”

“You’re family. Why wouldn’t I take care of you?”

“I think you must come from a better world than me.”

It was Esther’s turn to smile. “Not by a long shot. Now come on.” She gave Andy a quick hug. “Bed.”

Andy began to take off his uniform as Esther slipped out. She found her father waiting in the hall, arms folded, looking displeased. “In case you missed the blonde in the red dress earlier tonight I’m not interested in him and he knows it. I was just checking on him.”

“How not interested?”

“I have about as much interest in boys as Uncle Ian has interest in girls.”

Colby’s eyes went wide. “Wow. Okay. So, none at all?”

“Not in the slightest.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, at least we don’t have to worry about you getting pregnant.” Esther snorted and leaned against the wall opposite her father. Colby gestured to Andy’s door just as the light clicked out under it. “How is he?”

“I gave him half of one of my sleeping pills.”

“Those are prescription.”

“That’s why I only gave him half of one, besides he hasn’t slept for more than a couple hours any night since he got here and speaking as a card carrying insomniac, sleep deprivation can lead to one doing stupid things like going AWOL.”

Colby gave his face a quick rub. “Are you going to sleep tonight?”

“Wasn’t planning on it. We’re not really doing anything tomorrow are we?”

“Nah, just hanging out.”

“I told Andy I’d start teaching him Hebrew some time tomorrow. Told him it was relatively easy.”

“Easy relative to what?”

Esther shrugged. “Welsh?” Colby stifled a chuckle. “I think we should take him home with us.”

“He’s not a puppy.”

“Come on, Dad. I’ve been down main street. This town has five bars and no dentist. He had to get bits of his buddy picked out of him. That’s got to screw someone up and he’s not going to get any help hanging around here.”

“We can’t just shove him in our luggage.”

“I’ve got money saved up, I’ll cover his ticket.”

“It’s not that and you know it.”

“Dad...” Esther took a deep breath. “He’s family. Weird backwoods hick family but... I don’t think he’s going to make it here.”

Colby let out a little puff of air, in what was not quite a sigh. “We’ll see.”

“Thank you.” Esther let the silence of the house settle around her before taking a deep breath to break it. “Dad, what was it like?” Esther knew she wouldn’t have to spell it out.

Colby was quiet for a long time. “It was war. I was a soldier, I followed orders and they told me that knowledge would be enough.”

Esther took the half step across the hall and hugged her father laying her head against his chest. He was warm and strong and even smelling a bit of alcohol he felt safe. He hugged her back. “That is a very pretty dress.” He said smoothing down an errant curl.

“Thank you.”

“You look all grown up.”

Esther just held her father a little tighter.


	6. Chapter 6

Breakfast conversation was subdued. The fact that there were a few hangovers at the table helped. Colby was mainly trying to keep an eye on Esther and Andrew. Andrew looked tired but he also looked like he had slept. He was eating slowly but without hesitation. Esther was quietly eating her pancakes as well and suriptiously smelling the bacon as it was passed by her. Esther had quietly and without comment changed her eating habits some time after she turned twelve but Colby had more than once caught her sniffing bacon or ham and pineapple pizzas.

“So, what are everyone’s plans for the day?” Emily asked once an initial serving of coffee and pancakes had gotten into everyone.

No one immediately piped up. “Some of the guys invited me to hang out today.” Andrew finally said.

“Let me guess. Park’s road off the highway, near the river. Back of someone’s tuck. A couple of beers. Maybe pass around a joint if anyone’s got some and the last beer goes to the guy who tosses a rock across the river and manages to hit the flood marker. And no girls allowed.” Andrew’s jaw dropped. Colby smiled. “Andrew, the young men of Winchester have been drinking beer on that spot since this damn town was founded. The guys on the wagon train probably stopped there and thought ‘gee I wish I had a beer, this looks like a great spot to drink one.’“

Andrew shrugged a little. “I’m not sure if I should go.”

“Just as long as you come back.”

Andrew nodded and returned his focus to his pancakes.

Esther looked up. “I’m thinking about walking into town this afternoon. Getting some ice cream.”

Colby knew it would be over ninety out and it was a six mile hike. That was a bit much just for ice cream.

Colby nodded. “It’s a nice day out. I might go with you.”

Esther had a flash of fear that confirmed Colby’s suspicion. “That’s okay. You should hang around here. Relax.”

“Nah, I like ice cream. And I haven’t been down to the old Double Fruit Ice Cream Parlor in ages.”

“It’s just ice cream. Nothing fancy.”

“Yeah, but I feel like ice cream myself. Maybe I can even help you find out the ice cream’s last name.”

Esther’s face went flaming red. She looked back down at her plate and began muttering under her breath. Colby couldn’t tell exactly what language she was muttering in but Colby put a bet on Russian. That seemed to be her pissed off language of choice these days.

“And do you have any plans for the day, Charles?” Emily asked.

Charlie stared at the ceiling for a bit. “I was actually thinking about doodling a bit on some theoretical math and then maybe taking a nap on the porch.”

“Sounds lovely.”

“My plans were about the same.” Katie offered.

“How about you, Mom?” Colby asked.

“Oh I was thinking about getting some fruit out on the drying rack and maybe doing a load of laundry. It’s really too hot to do anything else.”

The table nodded in agreement then lapsed back into silence. After a few minutes of quiet chewing Colby realized that Esther was looking at him. Once she had his eye she started gesturing with her head towards Andrew. He and Charlie had had a long if slightly drunken talk the night before and Charlie had agreed with Esther; Andrew was family. Weird backwoods hick family but still family. “Hey, Andrew?”

Andrew looked up. “Yes, sir?”

“We were just thinking if you don’t feel like spending the rest of your leave sitting by the river tossing rocks at a metal pole you’re more than welcome to come down to LA.”

A little twitch of surprise went across Andrew’s face then quickly vanished. “I wouldn’t want to be an inconvenience...”

“Nonsense.” Charlie said. “We’ve got plenty of room.”

“You can do the whole tourist thing, see the sights, go shopping, maybe talk to some people.”

Andrew looked away, clearly understanding what Colby meant. “I’ll think about it, sir.”

Colby decided not to push. They still had a few more days. “Okay. You do that.”

~

Colby had once, long ago, prior to actually becoming a parent, told himself that he wouldn’t be one of those dads out to cramp his son’s style. This was of course many, many years prior to having a daughter and finding out she had the same style as his brother-in-law.

Esther had thrown on jeans and a tank top. Reasonable clothing for the weather except her jeans were at least a size too small and the tank top was the kind with a built in bra which Colby felt was advertising things it shouldn’t. He wanted to order Esther to go change except she’d warn the exact same outfit a hundred times over the last year and drawn no comment from anyone including her fathers. Colby knew the real issue was all in his head. It didn’t stop it from being an issue.

Colby pushed open the door of the Double Fruit Ice Cream Parlor ringing the little brass bell. Esther was at his side still sulking somewhat. The first thing to catch Colby’s eye was a head of red hair and the form of Patricia Philip. Next to her was a blond teenager that looked about Esther’s age. The girl’s eyes went wide. Colby quickly realized who it was. It had been hard to see in the dark but in the light of day Lisa of the red dress could have been a clone of his high school sweetheart, just blonde instead of redheaded.

Patricia stood up and waved them over with a smile. “Hello Colby. I wasn’t expecting to see you.”

“Well it seemed like a good day for ice cream. You remember my daughter, Esther.”

“Of course. This is my youngest, Lisa.”

Lisa had panic in her eyes. Colby held out his hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Lisa.”

Lisa shook it politely. “Won’t you join us for ice cream?” She asked sweetly.

Colby looked over at Esther who was looking blatantly twitterpated. “I think we’d love to.”

Colby picked up the menu on the table. It hadn’t change in forty years. Patricia insisted they split a double chocolate caramel sundae for old time’s sake. The girls each ordered their own sundaes. Esther chocolate peanut butter and Lisa vanilla strawberry.

Colby could not believe he had missed something so obvious about his daughter. He’d just been thankful that she didn’t seem to have a lot of interest in boys. The framed vintage Rita Hayworth poster she had blown a chunk of her savings on should have been a hint. Now, sitting next to her, he could practically feel the waves of teenaged hormones coming off the two girls. Throw on the fact that somewhere his little girl had learned how to tie a cherry stem into a knot with her tongue and Colby was having trouble keeping up with the idle reminiscing of high school days.

About the time Colby was starting to feel particularly traumatized by Esther licking her spoon clean, someone recommended they take a walk towards the high school, since they seemed to be in the mood to relive glory days anyways.

Esther and Lisa stretched their legs so they were ahead of their parents and just out of easy ear shot. Colby watched them. Esther’s hands were clasped behind her back while Lisa swung hers. They were about six inches apart. Colby realized he knew that walk. It was the not touching walking. He’d done it was Charlie a thousand times, it was second nature. It was the walk where it might not been 100% safe to hold hands or put arms around each other but you wished you could.

Colby wondered where Esther had learned that walk already. It didn’t seem fair.

“So, Lisa tells me you chased the two of them out of Make Out Grove last night?”

Colby looked sharply at Patricia, not entirely sure if he’d heard right. She raised an eyebrow at him. “Yeah, I might have.”

“Fuddy duddy. We made out like mad in those trees.”

“Yes, but that was different.”

“How?”

“Well...” Colby searched for a good answer. “It was us.” Patricia laughed. “And I didn’t try to get my hand up your skirt on the first date.”

“Really? I must be remembering a different date than you.”

“I did not try to get under you skirt.” Colby attempted to defend his virtue.

“That’s right it was down my bra ‘cause your brother bet you five bucks you couldn’t.”

Colby felt his face start to burn. He wanted to tell himself that he hadn’t been that much of a lust crazed shallow jerk as a teenager but he knew that would be a lie no one would ever buy. “Well... I’m sorry about that.”

“Don’t be. The messing around we did as teenagers ended up a whole lot better than most of the screwing around I did as an adult. Your wife is very lucky.”

Colby looked at his wedding band then at the two girls oh so carefully not touching. “Actually, I don’t have a wife.” Colby said carefully.

“You’ve got the ring?”

“Yeah. I’ve... I’ve got a husband. Charlie.”

Honest surprise raced across Patricia’s face. “Wow. Okay. That explains a few things.”

“No wrestling team jokes. They’ve all been made already.”

Patricia laughed the sweet laugh Colby still remembered. “So all that stuff about her mother?” She gestured to Esther.

“Completely true. Her mother might win a Nobel this year. We’re hoping she doesn’t ‘cause she’s a raging bitch and we have a friend of the family who’s done some pretty amazing work into sub atomic micro gravity and we like to think it’s far more deserving. We also don’t want reporters to come nosing around. We worked hard to make sure that woman has nothing to do with her life and we don’t want that changing anytime soon.”

Patricia gave Colby a little pat. “I know the feeling. Had to remortgage my parents place to afford the lawyer when I wanted custody of my three. Keep Johnny from taking them out of state.”

“I’m sorry about that.”

Patricia shrugged. “It’s been a while now. Lisa was barely two. I managed. Oldest joined the Air Force and the second just went off to ISU so I just got to get that one out of the house.” She pointed to Lisa. “And no more worries.”

“Mine’s about to leave home and I’ve got nothing but worries.”

“I’m sure that one will be fine.” They’d reached the school and were following the girls around back towards the football field. “She certainly left an impression on the town last night.”

“Her dress wasn’t that low cut.”

“No but it came from a little boutique off of Sunset or so I’ve been told and she showed up on the arm of a Granger boy in his dress uniform and having once been on the arm of a Granger boy in his dress uniform myself I can tell you people take notice.”

Colby wasn’t sure what to say. His first leave was a bit of a blur. He had only a few memories of Patricia those weeks and at the end he had told her not to wait for him since there was a chance he might not come back alive. “That summer I came back and took you to the dance in uniform, how did I seem?”

“Why?”

“It’s just a little fuzzy. I’m not sure if all my memories line up with what actually happened.”

They got to the football stands. Esther and Lisa were climbing to the top. Patricia took a seat at the bottom. “You were a little out of it. There were bits when it was like we were still in high school then you’d just start staring into space. You scared me a little honestly. Especially when you told me to forget that you ever existed.”

Colby sat down next to Patricia. “I was...” Colby wasn’t sure how to explain this so many years away.

“It’s okay.” Patricia took his hand. “This town has produced a lot of soldiers. Especially the Grangers. That means a lot of soldier’s wives and soldier’s widows. I knew what I was getting into. And I didn’t forget you.”

“I’m sorry.” Colby knew Patricia was the might have been. He knew in a parallel universe where Dwayne had never taken Chinese money and CID had never come calling Patricia was the girl he would have come home to and married after taking a job on a ranch or a machine shop like his dad. There would have probably been no Esther but Lisa would have been his instead.

Patricia patted his hand. “It’s okay. Now tell me about this Charlie.”

“He’s... How to describe Charlie?” Colby looked over his shoulder up to where Esther and Lisa were sitting hip to hip whispering in each other’s ear. “Well Esther got his face and curls. As a baby she was the spitting image of him at the same age.”

Patricia got a look of concentration on her face. “Yeah, I think I saw him at the dance last night. Kind of short.”

Colby smiled. “Yeah, kinda short. Also probably in the top 100 of smartest people on earth.”

“Really?”

“Yeah?”

“Then what the hell’s he doing with you?”

“Oh even super geniuses have lapses in judgment.”

“Yeah I believe that. What really happened?”

Colby tilted his face to the sun trying to drive away the little thread of darkness. “We caught a bad case. Charlie consults for the FBI. He’s a mathematician but he’s gotten pretty good at catching the bad guys with us. We’d been working together a couple of years, and one day we caught a really ugly case. Sick bastard was grabbing little girls off the street. Raping them, mutilating them. It was probably the lucky ones that died.” Colby shivered a little even in the heat. “Anyways we caught the bastard but some shit you can’t get out of your head easily. We got pretty drunk then... I don’t know. I think we were both trying to exercise some nasty demons, trying to remember was being alive was.”

“Well that explains the first time. What about the rest?”

Colby shrugged. “I don’t know. I should have done the walk of shame in the morning instead I took a shower and went to work like everything was normal. I planned nothing and next thing I know I’m moved in to the nice big house in the suburbs, married, working on adoption papers and she...” Colby pointed over his should. “Being nearly as smart as her father, is going off to university in nine weeks and three days.”

“Well for unplanned it sounds like you life has been okay.”

Colby looked back up to the top of the bleachers where Esther was trying to steal a kiss. “It has definitely had its moments.”

~

The sun was still up after an early dinner. Andy had come back from his day hanging out with his old friends quiet and a little unsteady on his feet. He probably shouldn’t have been driving but at least he came back and didn’t head north to Canada.

There was a slight breeze just beginning to cool the air. It would be another couple of hours until sunset. Esther packed up a blanket, a couple of books, and a couple of note pads. Then she took Andy by the hand, out the front porch and up the east hill until they were parked under the tree again.

“Okay, there is no point in learning just one little part of a language with the exception of the phrase ‘where can I find a toilet?’ My dad likes to say math is everything. And yeah maybe you can use math to work out the magnitude of a star on the edge of the galaxies but if there’s anything living on a planet around that star algebra is not going to let you have a conversation with it. Language is everything we are as humans. It’s what joins us and separates us. Almost the very first thing that happens to us after they cut the cord is assign a name to us, a word and that word is who we are for the rest of time. All of a culture’s history is tied up in its language, as well as its future. Get what I’m saying?”

Andy nodded. Esther was pleased. She hadn’t gotten to give her language is everything speech very often and was still working on it.

“If you want to learn the Kaddish for Isaac I will teach you but I’m not going to let you just memorize random syllables without a basis for understanding their meaning. Okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”

“And just remember this is easier than Welsh.”

Andy smiled a little.

Esther shifted around until they were hip to hip and opened a notebook on her lap. She began carefully writing out block letters, then script, then equivalent phonetic English. “Now a few things you need to get your head around; first Hebrew recognizable as Hebrew is about two thousand years old. English recognizable as English is only about five hundred years old care of Henry VIII, so you’re dealing with a lot of linguistic history here. Also, you read right to left which means the books all open the other way and there are no written vowels.”

Andy’s brow was already scrunching in thought and/or confusion. “No vowels?”

“Nope. There are a system of dots to represent vowel sounds but those aren't always used.”

Andy nodded slowly. “Okay, no vowels.”

“Yes vowels, but dots not letters and not always.”

“Dots.”

“Remember it could be worse, it could be Welsh.”

~

It was late dusk and getting hard to see. Colby stood on the front porch and watched as Andrew and Esther hopped over the fence and came back to the house. As he got close Colby could see Andrew muttering to himself, his face pulled tight in thought. He walked right past Colby and into the house without even a hello.

Colby stopped Esther before she could go inside. “What did you do to him?”

“Nothing. Started him on the alefbet. I think the no vowels thing is weirding him out. I don’t know why. Lots of languages don’t have specific symbols for vowels, I mean it’s kind of a new invention, relatively speaking.”

“Sweetie, you’re the one who was disturbed by the fact that cows don’t say moo.”

“Hey, a lot of people have lied to me but Sesame Street was very clear that cows go moo. I’m feeling very betrayed by that.”

Colby couldn’t even begin to keep a straight face. “I’m sorry. Would it crush you to find out that Bert and Ernie aren’t really gay? They’re just good friends.”

Esther snorted. “Yeah right. Though really I think Bert could do better. Ernie is a bit of a flake and Bert has some serious passive aggressive issues going on.”

“Yeah but can you really picture them with anyone else?”

“Sadly, no.”

Colby folded his arms and tried to think of a subtle way of changing the subject. “So... Thinking of going into town tomorrow?”

“Am I thinking of seeing Lisa? Yes I was planning on trying that, why do you ask?”

Colby sat down on the porch bench. “Okay. Who besides me knows? I mean who did you tell first?”

Esther sat down next to Colby. “I talked to Uncle Don a bit first.”

“Of course you did.”

“Well, I figured he likes girls too.” Colby couldn’t fault the logic as much as he wanted to. “And I told Uncle Ian ‘cause...”

“‘Cause you tell him everything anyway.”

“Yeah.”

“Were you ever planning on tell your father and me?”

Esther squirmed and shrugged a little. “It’s not exactly the easiest thing to bring up in conversation.”

Colby put his arm around Esther’s shoulder. “You know we’re okay with it, right? I mean we’ve screwed up as parents here and there but we really do try not to be complete hypocrites.”

“You didn’t seem that okay last night.” Esther mumbled.

Colby actually rolled his eyes. “You had your hand up her skirt and were pinning her to a tree.”

“She wasn’t complaining.” Esther stated in plain defense. “Besides I’m on the rebound. I mean Caitlyn dumped me April and the whole school found out so suddenly I was Caitlyn’s leftovers and...”

“Wait, wait, wait.” Colby waved his hands and tried to focus on the name Caitlyn. “Caitlyn? Wasn’t she that girl you were tutoring in French?”

Esther rolled her eyes. “Yes.” She groaned out.

“Wasn’t she a cheerleader?”

“Yes.”

“And she dumped you?”

“Dad!”

“I’m sorry. It’s just a good thing I didn’t know. That girl was trash, you could tell that from a mile away.”

“Daaaaaad. She was a cheerleader. She owned her own pompoms. And those little short skirts.” Esther’s eyes started to glaze over. It was intensely disturbing.

“I know all about cheerleaders. They’re over rated and Caitlyn obviously did not know what she had.”

Esther folded her arms and sunk into herself. “I asked her to prom. I mean I couldn’t ask any of the other senior girls. She said yes the first time. At least she dumped me before I bought the dress.”

Colby pulled Esther into a hug and held her tight. He knew she hadn’t had it easy. Oh she was a fighter, a vicious one on occasion but that hadn’t stopped the cruelty of other children who lashed out at anyone different. Colby had tried to console her but it was usually Charlie who would pull her close honestly understanding the pain of being just too smart for the societal norm. And now there was one more thing she couldn’t control that would separate her from many of her peers. This at least Colby could understand.

“Sweetie, there’s going to be someone someday. I promise. When you find them what everyone else thinks won’t matter. And there will be other chances for pretty dresses.”

Esther just shrugged without saying anything.

“Just tell me you didn’t ask your Uncle Don for pick up lines?”

“Why?” Esther mumbled.

“‘Cause way back in the day I actually watched him get slapped trying to use a few. Seriously.”

“I’ll consider myself warned.”


	7. Chapter 7

Colby was feeling pleasantly sedate as he lay in the sunlight on the porch. For the first time he was starting to understand cats. After breakfast Esther, Andrew and his mother had decided to take a drive into town to do some shopping and Charlie and Katie were in the living room being math geeks together.

Colby opened an eye as a truck rumbled up the driveway and stopped. Frank got out and climbed the porch.

“Mom and Andrew went into town.” Colby provided.

“That’s okay. Just came by to pick up some of my dishes and stuff.”

Colby sat up. “Hey Frank, just so you know. Charlie and I and Esther have invited Andrew down to LA to visit if he wants. We’ve got plenty of room and it might be more interesting than hanging around here.” Colby braced himself for whatever his brother’s simple minded response might be.

“I hear it’s a kinda crazy town, LA. Don’t you think the peace and quiet might be better for him?”

Colby sat up a little more. That had been a reasonably intelligent response. “Yeah, but we’re in the suburbs. Pasadena is a little more mellow.”

“Don’t like the thought of him being away from family, considering.”

“He won’t be. And as it was pointed out to me Winchester has five bars and no dentist. I have contacts still. I know good people he can talk to, help him get his head back in order.”

“The boy just needs some rest.”

Colby knew Frank’s reaction was a knee jerk one but was hoping that maybe this new habit of Frank thinking a little could stretch just a little farther. “Frank, I killed in combat and I watched other soldiers get killed. I’ve killed in the FBI and watched other agents get killed. Not everyone accepts help or asks for help and a lot of people never get it but people who kill without being affected by it are called sociopaths and Andrew is not. Andrew hasn’t said yes but I just thought you should know we’ve put the offer out there.”

Frank frowned but nodded. “He seems to be a bit attached to your girl.”

“I think Esther thinks he’s a puppy and is making plans to smuggle him out in her luggage.”

Frank gave a bark of laughter. “Just as long as he behaves himself. He stepped over a line asking her to the dance. I raised him to know better.”

“If he tries anything Esther can break his wrist.”

“I should have thought about making sure my girls knew how to fight. Would have saved a lot of problems.”

“Our goal has always been to get ours to 18 with out any arrests, pregnancies or eating disorders. We figure if we can manage that we did okay.”

Frank snorted. “Well then I failed. Jenny went and made me a grandfather when she was 17. Should have taken that boy of hers out back and given him a hiding first time he looked at her. ‘Course her mother was long gone by then. Never was good with any of the girl stuff.”

“Me and Charlie have muddle through best we can. I still don’t know who taught her to walk in high heels. She just had a pair one day.”

Frank shook his head. “Women are just weird. Never understood them.”

Colby grinned. “Yeah, me neither.”

Frank frowned in thought, squinted at Colby then suddenly laughed.

~

Esther was helping her grandmother load groceries into the back of her truck with Andy’s help. The Winchester general store had all of four aisles but after the holiday Emily cleared out half of it just to restock.

Another truck rumbled into the small parking lot. Esther recognized the idiot behind the wheel. It was Jacob, the boyfriend of the mind-numbingly gorgeous Vicky.

Jacob pulled his truck to a stop, jumped out and ran over. “Andy, hey! I was going to come looking for you the other night. I needed to talk to you man. You disappeared.”

“I headed home early. Needed to get some sleep.”

“Right, hey, can I talk to you now?” It didn’t seem to be a real question as Jacob just took Andy’s arm and pulled him out of ear shot.

“This can’t be good.” Esther mused aloud.

“I never liked that boy.” Emily stated quite plainly. “Bit of an idiot.”

Jacob was speaking adamantly and somewhat desperately to Andy. Andy by contrast was dead still, his hands clasped behind his back at at ease. Finally Andy nodded. Jacob pulled him into a quick hug then ran back to his truck.

Esther and Emily went over to Andy. He’s body was completely still but he was blinking quickly and the little muscles in his jaw were twitching.

Emily reached up and put her hand on his cheek. “Andrew?”

“He wanted to know if I would be okay with him proposing to Vicky seeing as how I’m shipping out again and it wouldn’t really be fair to make her wait, especially since I may not come back.” Andy’s voice was soft but clear.

Esther felt a cold rage roll up her spine and settle in behind her eyes. “Want me to kick his ass? I totally could.”

Andy’s lips give a tiny twitch. “It’s okay. He’s right.”

“He’s an idiot,” Emily stated firmly. “And she’s an idiot if she says yes to him.”

Andy didn’t say anything but his arms had slumped to his sides. Esther picked up one of his hands. “Come on. Let’s go home.”

~

Colby was sure something had happened. Esther and his mother had come back from grocery shopping looking a little angry. Andrew had come back looking like he’d had his chest kicked in. As soon as the groceries were put away Esther had grabbed Andrew, planted him under a tree and resumed their lessons at full force, even going so far as to drag out one of Katie’s old child sized chalk boards. Every time Andrew’s attention looked like it was wandering Esther yanked it back. Colby was sure no one had tried to shove that much information into Andrew’s brain that fast since basic.

By the time the two were called in for dinner Esther was hovering around Andrew, watching his every move. Andrew was nearly silent. Fortunately Katie and Charlie dominated the conversation with one-up tales of stupid science stunts, CalSci vs. MIT. Colby had heard several of them already. The tale of the MIT researcher who had tried to light a barbeque with liquid oxygen and managed to blow a fifteen foot crater in their parking lot was somewhat legendary.

As the dessert came out there was a lull in the conversation. Andrew looked up from his food for the first time all night. He looked at Colby.

“Sir?” Andrew’s voice was small.

“Yes, Andrew?”

“If... if the offer is still available I think I might like to see Pasadena.”

Colby recognized the look of a man who wanted to run, long and far. He was sure he’d had that look once. “Of course it is. We’ll be happy to have you.”

“Thank you.” Andrew looked back down at his desert. Next to him Esther silently mouthed ‘thank you.’

~

The moon was high and just past full giving everything a soft shimmering light. Esther tried to lift the window silently. It squeaked. Esther lifted it a little more and got another squeak.

Katie sat up in her bed. “You’ve got to spray it with WD-40 at least twelve hours before you intend to sneak out.”

“I was just getting some air.” Esther said quickly.

“Sure you were. What’s his name?”

“Lisa.” Esther mumbled.

Katie snorted. “Have fun. Get back before the sun comes up. Grandma’s an early riser and you’ll need time to get the bits of grass out of your hair.”

“Grass, right, thanks.” Esther pushed up the window a little higher and jumped out.

Leaning against a fence post near the driveway Esther could make out a shadow that was Lisa. She was wearing a dress, the red dress. In the moonlight it looked black.

“Hi.” Esther whispered as she got close.

“Hi.”

“You came.”

“You’re leaving tomorrow. Of course I did.”

Esther took her hand. “Come on.” Esther quickly headed north towards a sheltered clump of young birch she’d encountered on the hunt. They were silver and shimmering. She’d also managed to stash a spare blanket up there after dinner so they weren’t sitting on dirt.

“I wasn’t sure if you’d want to see me again, after yesterday.” Lisa was still whispering despite being far from any other ears but Esther’s.

“Why wouldn’t I want to see you?”

“My mom used to date your dad.”

“It’s a little weird but my cousin already tried to kiss me so...”

Lisa’s face scrunched up. “Ewww.”

Esther shrugged. “Kinda, yeah, but in his defense it’s been a while since he’s seen a woman who wasn’t in a hijab with an armed escort.”

Lisa chuckled. “Can I try to kiss you now?”

Esther felt her pulse speed up and her fingers begin to tremble. “Yeah, I think that would be a really brilliant idea.”

~

Colby stared at the ceiling of his old room. He knew he should be sleeping. It would be a four hour drive to the airport and he should be rested for it. But something felt off. It felt like there was something he had yet to do.

“Charlie, are you asleep?” Colby whispered into the dark.

“No,” Charlie mumbled. “It’s too hot.”

Colby smiled. “Want to make out?”

Charlie raised his head to look at Colby. “Is that a serious offer?”

“Yeah.”

Charlie quickly kicked off the thin sheet that was covering both of them. It had been too hot to go to bed in anything but shorts.

Colby laced a hand into Charlie’s hair and pulled him into a kiss. Charlie kissed back, their tongues chasing around each other in well-worn patterns.

Colby’s mind quickly flashed on Patricia. The one girl he had snuck into his bedroom. He’d snuck her in then hadn’t closed the deal. She’d been laying there, gorgeous, wanting him, and it hadn’t felt right.

Colby rolled Charlie over pinning him down, never breaking off the kiss.

He could already feel Charlie hard through his shorts and rubbed his body along Charlie’s.

Charlie broke off the kiss to groan.

“Charlie, tell me you packed lube.”

Charlie grinned. “Who do you take me for?”

“Just checking. This room and I have some unfinished business.”

“Would this unfinished business involve us having sex?”

“Oh, you better believe it.”

Charlie pulled Colby back down into a kiss while Colby reached down to push off both their shorts.

In the heat their bodies were already slick with sweat and Colby fought for control as his cock slid along Charlie’s body.

Charlie pulled away from the kiss only to attach himself to Colby’s neck. Colby tilted his head back, baring his throat for Charlie to lick patterns along.

The shocks and shivers caused by Charlie’s tongue rushed south, sending Colby’s cock twitching and north, clouding Colby’s mind to nearly everything but sensation.

When Charlie started leaving little nips along his chest Colby pulled away. “Lube?”

“Blue bag, outer pocket.”

Colby dove from the bed with single minded intensity, frantically fishing until his fingers found something that felt like a tube of lube. He prayed it wasn’t travel toothpaste or something and climbed back into bed.

Charlie had spread himself out, one hand flung lazily over his head, the other hand teasing at his own cock.

Colby took a moment to just look at Charlie and take in the image he made.

“Well, come on Agent Granger. I won’t break.”

Colby growled. Charlie using his title in just that right tone of voice could still get his blood flowing.

Colby opened the lube and Charlie hitched up a knee.

Colby slicked himself up first, then his fingers. He knew just how to loosen Charlie up. He teased slow circles around Charlie’s hole until it gave a little twitch. From there he easily slipped one finger in. He crooked that finger in just the right spot and Charlie’s body jerked. Colby could easily slip in a second after that. Charlie’s eyes were squeezed shut and he had a death grip around the base of his own cock.

“Colby, please.” Charlie’s voice was tight and strained. “You haven’t broken me yet.”

Colby slid in a third finger, twisting and stretching as quickly as he dared.

“Colby.”

Colby pulled out his fingers, grabbed Charlie’s hips, lined himself up and pressed in.

The moan that fell from his lips as well as Charlie’s were sounds of contentment. Colby let himself settle in Charlie who always felt so right and so good right from the start.

“Colby.” Charlie breathed. “This feels wonderful but you’re going to have to move. My hips aren’t what they used to be.”

Colby slid out and quickly found a rhythm. Charlie stroked himself in the same rhythm pushing back, urging Colby in deep.

Colby closed his eyes as he started to speed up letting himself drown in the sound of Charlie’s gasps, in the heat of his skin, and the tight perfect fit of his body.

Suddenly Charlie clamped down tight. Colby gasped and opened his eyes to see Charlie spill across himself and drift away in his own pleasure. The sight was one of Colby’s favorites and with a couple of hard deep thrusts he let himself go, cuming deep into Charlie with blinding waves of pleasure and a muffled shout.

~

Esther watched as the very first stars blinked out. She didn’t want to move. Not with Lisa’s silky soft hair spilling across them, her head tucked under Esther’s chin.

“I have a weakness for blondes.” Esther mused aloud.

“Really?” Lisa’s voice was soft and sleepy.

“Yes. I’ve been going nuts all week. So many beautiful women.”

“I made myself stop looking a long time ago. There are only two other lesbians in school. One doesn’t like me and the other one is a Mormon.”

“Suck.”

“Yeah.”

Esther ghosted her fingers across Lisa’s lips. “I wish I could smuggle you home in my luggage.”

“Me too.”

Esther heard a bird chirp. “We need to get going.”

“I know.” Neither of them moved. “Tell me things are better out side of this crap ass town.”

Esther watched a few more stars vanish. “The streets of LA are paved with gold and everyone is beautiful and there is sexual freedom and confusion and no one cares and all love is true love and every child is wanted and every family is happy and accepting and you can buy two hundred different flavors of ice cream and four hundred different blends of coffee at any time of day or night and the water is perfect and the air is clean and the biggest worry anyone has is what next season’s fashions are going to be.”

Lisa was quiet for a long time. “Liar.”

“Maybe, maybe not.”

Lisa turned around and kissed her. “Thank you.”

“Any time.”

~

Colby stared at Frank. Frank stared back. The noon sun was beating down reflecting off the dusty white gravel of the driveway. Finally Frank held out his hand. Colby took it.

“You’re going to watch out for my boy, aren’t you.” It was more order than question.

“Absolutely. I made some calls. He has an appointment to talk to someone on Monday morning and we’re going to Disneyland on Wednesday.”

Frank nodded. “What about, well, you’re close to the border?”

“We won’t let him go AWOL. But if he’s honestly not combat ready I’m not letting him go back either. I still have some friends, I can call in a favor or two. He’ll be okay.”

Frank let go of Colby’s hand. “Okay.”

Before Colby could turn around Mary Jo pulled him into a hug. “Don’t you stay away that long again, you hear me?”

Colby hugged his sister tight. “Promise.”

Once she let go Robert took her place for a moment. “I meant what I said. Come down for Thanksgiving with Mom. Let Charlie and me play tour guide.”

Robert pulled away smiling. “I’ll think about it.”

Then Colby was facing his mother. He pulled her into a hug letting his eyes close.

“Thank you for coming home.” Emily said against her son’s chest.

“I’ll try to come back.”

Emily let go. “You do that. You know you three are always welcome.”

“I know.” Colby gave his mother one more quick squeeze then a kiss on the cheek. “I’ll see for Thanksgiving?”

“Already have my ticket. Now get on the road. You don’t want to miss your flight.”

“Love you, Mom.”

“I love you too, dear.”

Colby slowly turned around, taking in the house and the hills and cow that didn’t say moo. He took a deep breath taking in the smell of dust and grass and July air. Only then did he look to where Charlie, Esther and Andrew were waiting by the car.

“Okay, everyone, let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in March of 2008 boymommytotwo asked me if Colby ever takes Charlie and Esther back to Idaho. I scratched my head and came back with the answer of 'No'. She felt this was unacceptable and proceeded to dump a baby bunny in my lap then poked at me until the story was at least outlined.
> 
> 19 months later the story isn't written and I put a poll on my journal asking my flist what I should work on next. First let me say I was expecting maybe 10 people to vote. 69! votes later Idaho has a clear win with 27 votes That was 39.1% I was floored by this. I was expecting that people might get demanding about getting more Silk Pillow drabbles (that came in second) or maybe the Torchwood people would gang up and demand a third story, but the people spoke and they wanted Vignettes. Ask and ye shall receive I'd like to point out that a good number of the people who voted for Idaho are lurkers. People who have friended and never commented once. Just saying.
> 
> Now once I dusted off the old outline and got into the story I realized there was going to be a lot about Esther and her personal faith and while I spent a lot of hours reading Wikipedia I didn't want to offend anyone so autumnwriting kindly stepped up as the official Vignettes 'verse Hebraic scholar a military adviser. She fixed my Hebrew and made sure my terminology was correct.
> 
> swingandswirl came to bat as my editor screwing the last nuts into place and was wonderful about my fretting and general neurosis. She always is.
> 
> So thank you to everyone for helping and thank you to everyone for reading and please if you've been lurking just drop a quick line and let me know you're out there reading.


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